The best method to decrease the number of traffic jams.

Hello every, Can you help me to fix my essay?

How to improve public transport?

Some people think that the best way to reduce the number of traffic jams is to improve public transport.How could public transport be improved and to what extent do you agree or disagree with those people?

Many people believe that the ultimate solution to minimise the number of traffic jams is to enhance vehicles communally. In my opinion, I agree with that because of many reasons.

Frist and foremost, The spaces of the road are opened by improving public wheels, for example, one bus's size equal six motorbikes size but the bus can take 45 people however the motorbikes just can take 12 people. The amounts of traffic congestions are lessened by expanding blank of the street. Besides that, the society is developed by boost mutual transits due to we will talk more when we are on the buses, trains, and planes.

Second of all, the air pollution is decreased by update communal transport by cause of reducing exhaust gas. We will have a better life because we can breathe in fresh air. Many people, who don't have enough money to buy personal transportation, are helped by modern public transport, which will be improved. We will be safer by using urban vehicles because they run slower and more careful.

Finally, The way some country update their communal transport is not good, for example, in Viet Nam, we decided to build the subway in HCM city to solve traffic jams but I don't think it can help us because it so late to develop subway system in 21 century. We have to update our public transport by the right way because it will waste a lot of money to build something can't be used for all.

To sum up, I think to improve public transport is the best way to solve traffic jams because we have more blank in roads, the better society, and the better emotionally.

Hi there, in my opinion the 4th paragraph is really confusing. It doesn't go with flow.....
I mean
- First you encourage using public transportation by mentioning the advantage of emptying the road
- Then you continue to discuss with another advantage that support public transporting
- Lastly, you criticize the way some country imprve their public transport which doesn't really go with the other two.
I think a way to fix it is to replace the preposition Finally

Furthermore, I don't really understand why building the subway in HCM is not solving the problem, I think you should go in to a little bit more detail

Lastly, the conclusion paragraph of the essay doesn't have anything to do with the 4th paragraph which make it even more confusing as if the 4th paragraph was not meant to be there

Hope I helped you a little bit.

Phuc, there are a number of serious problems with your essay that has affected the possible final score that it can receive. While I will not give you a score in order to not break your spirit, I would like to call your attention to the problem areas of your essay. I will offer you examples of the problems and possible solutions as to how you can fix the problem. Let's start with your opening statement.

The opening statement is the method by which you are judged regarding your English comprehension skills. If you are unable to properly represent the given discussion and instructions, you will end up with a low level TA score. In your presentation, you did represent most of the discussion, but we need a complete representation. When you paraphrase, you need to make sure that all aspects of the original are reflect in your version. Therefore, your presentation should have looked like the one below:

With the traffic problem continuously growing everyday, there have been some ideas that if the public transport system can be improved, the traffic problem might be alleviated. This has led to a discussion regarding the best way to improve the existing public transit system. I totally agree that the public transport system needs to be improved in order to help lessen the traffic problem for a number of reasons.

Did you notice the mix of simple and complex sentences in my presentation? Note the varied vocabulary? I even used synonyms in the presentation. The design of the paragraph is meant to expand upon the presentation of my English comprehension, vocabulary, and analytical skills. Create the perfect opening statement and you will get a very high score in the TA section. Get a high score in the TA section and the rest of the criteria will also be scored on a better level.

One of the biggest problems of your essay is that is focuses on the traffic problem in your city, which may not be familiar to the examiner. You reference motorcycles that carry up to 12 people while they carry only 2 people in most parts of the world. Try to use more popular and easily identifiable references in your essay. Don't use country specific recommendations or examples as that may have a tendency to confuse the examiner who will then consider lowering your score.

Make sure that you use English words that everyone can understand. For example, I have no idea what you mean by a reference to "... expanding blank of the street." What did you mean by blank? Does that mean something in the Vietnamese language? Remember, you should not be transliterating the words because what sounds right in your language may not translate properly to the English language.

I won't even mention the problems with your concluding paragraph at this point because you already have enough improvements to make that are more important to your passing the test. If I see improvements with your next practice test, I will then focus on helping you to improve your concluding statement presentation.