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IELTS TASK 2 Essay about the best way to tackle environmental problems

Thangnguyen315 8 / 24  
Jun 16, 2019   #1

the cost of fuel impact on environment

Topic: The best way to solve world's environmental problem is increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion.

Protecting the environment has long played a pivotal role in achieving sustainable development of society. To combat environmental degradation, many believe that rising fuel prices is the most effective way. However, while acquiescing in the view that this may help to alleviate environmental problems, I would argue that this is far from being the best remedy and there exist other viable solutions to this thorny issue.

It is an indubitable fact that pushing up the cost of fuel may act as a catalyst for improving the environment because of positive impacts it may bring about. First of all, this might be established as one of the contributors to the reduction of vehicles' exhaust fumes into the environment .This is because this type of emission is considered to be the major culprit for air contamination; therefore, if we increased the cost of fuel on a large scale, many people who live in meager income would find it difficult to utilize their personal vehicles such as cars, motorbikes on a regular basis due to the exorbitant prices they have to pay. For this reason, the number of personal vehicles being used for transportation is likely to decrease, thus reducing the amount of toxic fumes and making the environment cleaner. However, from my perspective, it would be a fallacy to those who argue that this is the best way to fight environmental problems. In fact, besides traffic fumes, effluents from factories and intrusive light are other factors that contribute to the degradation of the environment by causing water pollution and light pollution. Therefore, increasing the energy prices may have negligible effect on adressing environmental problems, thus not resolving this issue completely.

I would also contend that there exist comprehensive measures that should be considered. Firstly, the government should introduce more stringent regulations with a view to preventing individuals from being heedless of environmental protection and warning people who harm the environment. In this way, by taking steps such as creating heavy fines for doing illegal activities, people would be galvanized into action and stop being nonchalant. For example, Singapore- a country in which wrongdoers that commit environmental crimes are severely punished by the government - has become one of the most salubrious places in the world. Secondly, it is imperative that the authorities must raise citizens' consciousness of the importance of the environment as well as the danger exists. This is because the paucity of information among people may also be the underlying cause of the procrastination to protect the environment, which can be a huge obstacle for solving this problem. Furthermore, once they clearly understand the necessity of protecting the environment, they would be willing to seriously take action. These steps, additionally, should be taken in tandem with each other in order to achieve desired result when encountering environmental issues.

In conclusion, while rising fuel prices may bring immense benefits in alleviating environmental problems, this cannot be considered as the most effective way due to the abovementioned reasons. Therefore, I believe other solutions should be taken simultaneously to address this problem, namely making strict regulations and raising people's awareness of the environment-related issues.

Dear everyone, I am a newcomer to our forum. Hope you can spend time giving me some feedbacks!
Thank you very much!
manhmoc 3 / 5 5  
Jun 16, 2019   #2
You did put a lot of effort into the essay, well-done. A lot of fancy words, very impressive.
However, it seems to me that you are not really familiar to the concept of academic essay, as there are still something that you should keep in mind. Don't worry, that's why we are here.

First, I think you should reconstruct your essay a little bit. The beginning and the ending are ok, let's take a look at the two body parts. The question asks for your opinion and there is an ABSOLUTE word (the best solution), so in the main parts, it is advisable that you express your ideas like below:

1. Admit: On the one hand, increasing the cost of fuel is indeed a practical solution. (explain how increasing the cost of fuel will enhance the environment...)

2. Attack: On the other hand, there are also several measures we can consider....
instead of agreeing with the thesis and then immediately refusing it in the same paragraph, and spending the next paragraph listing alternative solutions.

Secondly, there are still some grammatical mistakes in the essay.
For example: rising fuel prices is the most effective way-> raising fuel price.......this may help to alleviate-> help alleviate; and there exist other viable solutions (this is a big mistake, dude) -> there are other viable...or other viable solutions can be taken,,, if we increased (why increasED?); For this reason, the number of personal vehicles being used for transportation is likely to decrease, thus reducing reduce the amount of toxic fumes and making make the environment cleaner....

Thirdly, the essay is too long. A lot of words were used but a number of them don't sound natural. For example: "It is an indubitable fact ... First of all, ..."

It is very long and awkward. Besides, you stated "first of all" but where is the "second"? :)) you may try:
It is irrefutable that lifting up the cost of fuel is beneficial as the amount of exhaust fumes can be declined. The explain why...

I know it is difficult at first. We have all been there but don't be upset and disappointed. We are just being critical for your own good. Keep up the good work.

There are still a lot to learn, and it takes time.
OP Thangnguyen315 8 / 24  
Jun 16, 2019   #3
@ manhmoc
I really aprreiciate the feedback your gave:D I will try to lessen some unnecessary parts,too
But i think the structure ..., thus V-ing is not wrong, right?
nguyenvuong 3 / 4 2  
Jun 16, 2019   #4

Your essay is very well written. The only thing I would comment about is the amount of words. There are more than 500 words here and I dont really think it is possible to write this much in 40 minutes. It is recommended that we should produce a not more than 280 word essay for Task 2 so try to be concise.

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