IELTS task 2: Boarding schools are excellent for children, according to some people's opinion

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while others disagree for a number of reasons.

Consider both sides and reach a conclusion

Nowadays, as education has become an essential part of bringing up a child, many people prefer their children to attend boarding school for some good reasons. However, others tend to be against the idea since they believe that school is not the only educational source to raise a child. We will go into these both views in this essay.

Firstly, school provides children with the most academic environment in which they can consume as much knowledge as they want. So, boarding schools should be considered to be a good option for parents who want their child to be a good student. Secondly, boarding schools can bring a big assistance to parents who are at work virtually all day. It is quite easy to understand that they have to spend their day at work and leave their child at home under no observation is very dangerous. Last but not least, being at school all day can help children to be more sociable and dependent. These advantages are important to build up not solely the child's knowledge but also his personality.

By contrast, opposite point of view points out that frequently staying away from parents can terribly affect family life. This happens when the child is so dependent that they can take care of themselves and take away the chance for their parent to care for them. In long-term, family members will become less closed leading to ignorance between family members. Another issue is that if the child got bullied at school and be unable to express themselves to their parents, they might suffer from depression and grow up being a person with mental problems. Moreover, a part from academic knowledge, other aspects around the child are also important and can only being taught carefully, which can only be provided by the parents.

Overall, it seems advisable that letting children at school all day can benefit them. However, terrible consequences of the idea should be taken into account as well. Since parents cannot observe and protect their child at school, it is necessary to be around them more often to ensure that they are open to parents and willing to ask for help.

361 words

on the second paragraph, the sentence '' So, boarding.....good student'' i don't think it's persuasive enough when children study to become a good student?

I can see that your contrast section provides a really good and realistic ideas
overall, to me, this essay both concise and reasonable

Solid structure with reasonable statements! Overall it is well written, do mind some minor grammar mistake.

A Task 2 test will never ask you to reach a conclusion. You misinterpreted the discussion instruction which is "Discuss both points of view and give your personal opinion." An opinion is different from a conclusion. By definition:

Conclusion - the last main division of a discourse, usually containing a summing up of the points and a statement of opinion or decisions reached.

Opinion - a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

The latter is what the task 2 essay always asks the writer to deliver as a part of the point of view analysis. You were to explain the public opinion based on publicly known reasons or opinions for the first part of the presentation. Then you present your personal opinion after you consider the public point of view. You can either present a single opinion based on a side you support or an opinion of each public point of view that considers the discussion in comparison to your opinion of the public perception.

Your restatement is insufficient. You did not include the reference requirement to your personal point of view in the discussion aspect. By the way, you are discussing the opinions solely from a personal point of view rather than the :

Public opinion + explanation + personal opinion+ explanation

format. You have not delivered a clear explanation that separates the public from the personal through the use of appropriate genderless pronouns. The essay is also too long for an opinion discussion. You should have been able to do this within 290 words. Your explanations need more work if we are to consider the proper and expected discussion format.

I do not see your oppinon. You should indicate which idea you support. It is also the task in the question that you have to complete and choose one.

I really love your ideas and your writing style. But I think it is too long, it could be not enough time to finish in real test.

I find your essay quite simple but reasonable. It may be crucial that you put some academic words and reduce the length of your writing.

Just some confusions and suggestions:
Make sure it's "dependent" or "independent" that you want to use in the second and third paragraph.

The fourth sentence in the third paragraph: Another issue...the child...and be unable to....
-I think you need to use "is" as the verb (since the subject is child) instead of "be"

Not sure why using "being" in the last sentence of the third paragraph, I suggest you simply use be.

The last sentence in the final paragraph is also confusing: Since parents...their child...be around them...ensure that they....
- since you use them and they, the subject should be children. Otherwise, it would be confused if "they" refers to parents.