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How many books from Burnaby Public Library were read by women and men?


amrillahmk31 15 / 17 2  
Jan 18, 2016   #1
The line graph compares changes in the rates of books was read by men and women over 3-year period. The data is measured in the number of books read. The most siginificant facts to emerge from the graph are that line for men dramatic increased, while the line for women in the first two years rose although in the last year experienced small fall.

In 2001, the number of books was read by men stood approximately at 3,000. Over the following 1 years, the level then rose gradually at 4,000 in 2012. Subsequently, starting in 2012, the rate of books read by men showed large growth, which hit a high roughly at 14,000 by the end of period.

In addition, the figure for women stood around at 4,500, then, it grew gradually in the first two years, which touched nearly at 10,000. However, in the last year, there was a slight decline in the number of books read by women, which hit around at 8,000. At the end of period, it also can be seen that the trend of books was read by men, finally, surpassed women.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 18, 2016   #2
Miftah, your introduction lacks information. You should have included the inclusive years that the line graph illustrated in order to better inform your reader within the overview summary of your report. You should also indicate the library where the figures of comparison come from. The lack of information means that you were not really paying attention to the information that was provided. That also proves that you are unable to recognize important information contained in the report. Aside from that, you also lack the minimum 3 sentence requirement. Try to always divide your sentences into shorter ones so that you can meet the requirement.

...books was read ,,,
... over a 3-year period.
-Indicate the listed years from the report.

... measured in BY the ...
... most siginificant SIGNIFICANT facts...
THE NUMBER OF line for men dramatic increased,
... the line for NUMBER OF women...
... although in the WOMEN DURING THE last
... experienced A small fall DROP.

... books was read by ...
... following 1 years ...
... the level then rose gradually at TO...

... around at 4,500...
... in DURING the first two years,...
nearly at 10,000.
... in DURING the last ...
... around at 8,000.
... end of THE period, ...
... books was read by ...

I will grant you a pass for the errors that this essay contains since you have only started working on your practice tests. However, I will come down harder on you the next time I review your test essay so make sure to remember my instructions and you apply it to your next essay development. I look forward to seeing improvement with your future essays.


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