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Books and experience - rate my essay for TOEFL iBT



lucky_boy 1 / 1  
Jun 20, 2013   #1
Dear all,
I would be so thankful if anyone could rate my essay.
Thanks for your sincerely helps in advance.

Are books more important than experience?

In our daily life, we acquire different knowledge from experience in different situations that are very important for us since we learn how to cope with our problems. Another way in which we can gain much knowledge is studying books. Some people strongly believe that books are more important than experience while others oppose it. I will try to examine below specific reasons for showing the paramount importance of books over the experience according to which I think are the most common viewpoints nowadays.

First let us look at what a person can typically gain by studying books. It is knowledge which is a key to everything that we want to improve. Also, this is by default leading to develop skills in a time efficient way while obtaining knowledge by experience is more frustrating and time consuming. For example, I have studied different books in the engineering fields at university and learnt the results of different methods. Consequently, I know how to solve different problems and how to choose the best methods in different situations while gaining this knowledge would take me years and my valuable youth to obtain that knowledge by working and experiencing. In other words, the information which is written in books are already the knowledge that have been experienced by different people, and it is provided to give us a chance of saving time. As you can see, obtaining knowledge by studying books is more time efficient than that of by working.

The second reason is that getting knowledge from some experiences are such a hard that makes it impossible to be acquired. For example, if an individual want to investigate about the characteristics of living in forest or deserts, it will be so hard for him/her to go to that places for investigation. As it can be concluded that gaining knowledge by reading books is easier than knowledge by experience.

Far apart from the points that I made above, obtaining skills by experience will cost us a lot. For instance, if we wanted to invest our money by establishing a company, we would lose our invested money by the time we became sophisticated in that area. However, we could obtain that knowledge by a four-year study in a relevant field of study at university.

In summary, though some may refute it, gaining knowledge from books by going to university is much important than that by experience. Not only are the books time efficient but also they makes easy for us to investigate the hard experience. I strongly believe that people should get the relevant skills by studying books which at the same time is a promising step into a world of opportunities as long as it is accompanied by strong will and desire for distinction.

Word count:460

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 20, 2013   #2
Please post your TOEFL Essays under Writing Feedback forum. Also, it's better you include your purpose of writing together with the essay prompt for us to provide you with more relevant comments;

In our daily life, we acquire different knowledge from experience in different situations that are very important for us since we learn how to cope with our problems.

In our day to day life, we keep acquiring knowledge by various ways.

I will try to examine below specific reasons for showing the paramount importance of books over the experience according to which I think are the most common viewpoints nowadays.

... you need to improve this sentence....it's not clearly presented!
The following paragraphs will analyse which one is more important; Books or Experience?
OP lucky_boy 1 / 1  
Jun 20, 2013   #3
Dear Dumi,
Thank you very much for your time and valuable comments.
jkjeremy - / 380  
Jun 20, 2013   #4
This essay should be about the different kinds of knowledge we glean from books.

Therefore the word "knowledge" need only appear in your introduction.
jkjeremy - / 380  
Jun 20, 2013   #5
Sorry...ran out of time to edit last post.

main idea of essay = knowledge

one big paragraph = practical information

another big paragraph = we can learn about this and other worlds

another big paragraph = books teach us empathy and understanding

conclusion = final thoughts

My subpoints are merely examples (and maybe not great ones), but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say


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