Brake before university education, are advantages more than disadvantades?

i am new in this forum and this is my first essay please help me to correct it.

Some people think that students who don't take a break in studies between a high school and a university are at disadvantage compared to students that travel and work after high school before furthering their education. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is commonly understood that university education is necessary in this competition world .Whether student should take a break after completing their high school life, to get work experience or travel to relax themselves before admission in university, is a controversial topic and the exit answer of this question is not known. According to my point of view, a part of those student ,who take break to earn money for further education, strongly disagree that student take a break in their studies because there will be more disadvantages than advantages. It will be shown by analyzing lost of interest to continue education and getting job experience which will not help in future study.

Firstly, this is very necessary for complete ion of study to have full interest .After high school, by taking break this interest will loss. For instance, student who graduate from school are not mature enough and once they take break and start any job or travel they start enjoying life after a tough high school schedule. It is become very difficult for them to join college or university and start again a tough ruten . From this example it is very obvious that there are more disadvantages to take a break after high school.

Secondly ,majority of those student who take break before joining university, are usually doing job which will not helping in there further study. For example waiter or a cleaner job which is good to do to earn money but there experience will not help in there master degree education. It is clear from this example that after high school break will have more disadvantages.

After analysing the loss of interest for continuation of study and gaining work experience which is useless in university education and west of student precious time, it can be concluded that break between high school and university education having more disadvantages and it is recommended that it should not be taken.

dont start with "nowadays" start with something like, "in present day"
"competeition" in the first line should be changed to "competitive"
in the first line insert "a" or make students plural
second line after high school change "life" to "career"
change "relax themselves" to "expanding knowledge that cant be learned in a classroom"
take out the words "firstly" and "secondly"
* you have a lot of grammatical errors but other than that i think that your topic is great! keep rough drafting*