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Breaking News - Is it important to know about events happening around the world??



Synorita 1 / 2  
Jul 1, 2019   #1
I am preparing for the TOEFL TEST , please advise me !! Thank you!

info about global events



TOEFL INDEPENDENT WRITING:
Is it important to know about events happening around the world, EVEN IF it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.

In these days, the world has become increasingly vigorous and news is updating every second practically. Some people suggest that it is significant to know about events happening around the world while others regard learning different events from distance areas as a total waste of time. As far I am concern, to a large extent, the international views is highly valuable.

Firstly, it is important for everyone, whether young or old, to broaden our minds. For instances, the international program unavoidable reports contain from a foreign culture to a foreign country, from social manners to languages, from food to religious ritual. People can build up a cross-culture understanding by being exposed to exotic information. From this, people would become more flexible and adaptable, when encountering with the culture diversity in travelling or study abroad.

Besides, it plays a significant role of catalyst for the maturity of youngsters. In fact, many young people living in rich countries are overindulged as they grown up in a peaceful and healthy environment. In addition, some of them might squander the money with no restrain. But when watching the events happening about Africa, the massive starvation, epidemics, and the homelessness, the death caused by civil wars, they begin to realize how happy they live in. And they can learn to spend money appropriately in modern society, cherish what they own now,

Undoubtedly, one of the reasons against such news is it has nothing to do with the ordinary people. Breaking news for examples, in other countries and continents, such as political scandals, work strikes, up and down of the stock marketing are too far from the local information to provide practical knowledge to local people. It is failed to reflect the truth to life and day-to-day of local community around them or teach them take self-care skills for dealing with challenges in a real world that learning things from international news. On this level, it is proper to the assertion of the international news.

In a word, I believe that there are more vantages than shortcomings of having access to the global news. Despite of availing for daily life, its benefits in open-minded to people can never be surpassed.

Maria - / 1096  
Jul 4, 2019   #2
@Synorita
Hi there!

First and foremost, try to strategically separate your sentences. Notice how, in your introductory paragraph, you should be try to compartmentalize your thoughts more to create more substantive content. Try to apply this all over your writing.

In the second paragraph, it would be more appropriate to say for instance rather than for instances as the former is generally more acceptable than the latter. Try to also evade the usage of repetitive language in order to articulate smoothly what you want to portray in the long-run.

Having a more straightforward approach to your writing will help you create more depth because you'll have more hold over the meaning that you are trying to relay. Because you have to be more specific with your depth, this will enhance the outlook of your writing.

Remember that it's better to have a straightforward approach than anything else.

Best of luck as always.
OP Synorita 1 / 2  
Jul 9, 2019   #3
@Maria
Thank you


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