Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


'broader roads, logical control'; stuck on road in rush hours - many cars, motorbikes move slowly



anthonynguyen 3 / 4  
Oct 30, 2014   #1
The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is stuck on road in rush hours and many cars, motorbikes move slowly. Traffic jams has been a big concern of society for long time. It is thought that if government supports free-ticket for passengers who use public transport means, it will be the best solution for traffic jams but I obviously do not think as that way.

There are two reasons making free-ticket for public means do not work effectively.

Firstly, the fee of tickets is not a reason leading to used private car overload, which the main reason makes traffic jams. People, who use private vehicles, have money and they do not want to use public means due to its inconveniences. While, people, who use public means, do not have much money to afford for private means so they are not factors do traffic jams. Therefore, even free ticket do not attract people, who have money, turn from using private into public means and nothing changes.

Secondly, the fee of ticket now is cheap and affordable for almost people to buy so even free ticket or not, it is full filled in public means now. If free-ticket law is enacted, it may cause some troubles such as: people, who have a little money, are willing to pay a driver to get on bus soon so it is not fair for people, who do not have money, did stand in queue for a while.

In conclusion, free ticket may just supports for the poor and improves their living standard rather than a solution for congestion. What we need to do is try to make the road broader or control the traffic logically.

thongdat1608 3 / 7  
Oct 30, 2014   #2
Hi Anthony,

My corrections are just my ideas of how the essay should be :) Hope they help. There are some word repetitions in your essay. For example, 'free tickets', 'even so' had been repeated so many times :)

It is stuck on road in rush hours and many cars ,and motorbikes move slowly. Traffic jams hashave been a big concern offor society for a long time. It is thought that if governments supports free-ticket for passengers who use public transport means, it will be the best solution for traffic jams but I obviously(I'm not sure if 'obviously' is suitable) do not think as that way.

There are two reasons making free-ticket for public means does not work effectively.

Firstly, the fee of tickets is not a reason leading to used private car overload, which is the main reason makesfor traffic jams. People, who use private vehicles, have money and they do not want to use public means due to its inconveniences . While, people, who use public means, do not have much money to afford for private means so they are not factors do traffic jams .(....,while ....) Therefore, even free ticket does not attract people, who have money, turning from using private into public means and nothingcould be changesd .

Secondly, the fee of ticket now is cheap and affordable for almost people to buy so even free ticket or not, it is fullly filled in public means now . If free-ticket law is enacted, it may cause some troublesproblems such as: people, who have a little money, are willing to pay a driver to get on the bus soon so it is not fair for people, who do not have money, did stand in queue for a while.

In conclusion, free ticket may just supports for the poor and improves their living standard rather than a solution for traffic congestion. What we need to do is try to make the roads broader or control the traffic logically.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'broader roads, logical control'; stuck on road in rush hours - many cars, motorbikes move slowly
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳