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Cam16-IELTS Writing Task 2-People find infos about their house


Ivyphuong 1 / -  
Oct 7, 2021   #1
Topic:
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?



My writing

In several nations in the world, as people move around the countries as work's demand, people increasingly feel interested in discovering the history of the building or a house where they live.

Nowadays, people tend to find more information about where they live because of some reason. For example, it might have a historical value that they want to understand more and feel proud of where they live. In Vietnam, some houses that used to be a base for the military's secret meetings in the war in 1954 and the tools, furniture, antiques are still kept until today in order to display for guests who feel interested in discovering. By contrast, people find information about the buildings or the apartments might be because of safety reasons or in rare cases because of spiritual belief. For instance, in America, there are some houses that used to have a crime like suicide or even worse like murder, people tend to feel scared and afraid to move in as they want to avoid any supernatural events that might occur in their houses in the near future. Another reason might be because of safety reasons such as the facilities in the old building like the pumps, the fire staircases, or fire alarm system.

People who feel interested in discovering the history of the house can find information from several trustworthy sources. For example, they can look for the data from the real estate agencies which provide them the information about when did the houses were built, how many owners it has, or even how many times that the houses were rent or bought. Especially in America, there is a famous agency name Zillow, this one is providing this kind of information for all their clients. In addition, the internet is the easiest source to access for any kind of information or easier that they can just talk to their neighbors.

To conclude, there are several reasons that people want to find data about where they live, it might be because of safety reasons or avoid the buildings which have a lot of rumors about the supernatural events. People can look for information on the internet, their neighbors, and real estate agencies, or even the community libraries.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,749 3795  
Oct 9, 2021   #2
The prompt restatement has deviated from the original topic, eason for the topic, and opinion statement. It has not properly related to the paraphrasing requirements and response format expectations. The essay has begun as a failing presentation in terms of task requirements. It will be difficult to achieve a passing score at this point.

Nowadays, people tend to find more information about where they live because of some reason.

Avoid constantly repeating the discussion topic. It should only be stated twice. Once in the paraphrase then again in the concluding summary.

in order to display for guests

Wrong discussion point. The essay speaks of a residence or place where people actually live ) not historic sites or museums. The writer has problems understanding the target topic. A clear failure of English comprehension skills. The essay will recieve an overall failing score due to this.


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