Cambridge IELTS Academic - Test 1 - Writting Task 2 - Owning a home rather than renting one

Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The concept of renting a house or actually buying it is one of the most controversial topics to be talked about when it comes to making decisions in finding a settled place for many households. In my outlook, I think owning a house will be a beneficial decision to make, but it still depends on some of the situations and types of circumstances each family is dealing with.

First of all, it is clear that owning a house genuinely brings on a lot more benefits instead of renting one. Finance is one of the severe issues if you can not pay the rent bill of your house, because nowadays it is harder to have a decent income for your family, so it will reduce the amount of outcome if you can afford a house from the beginning. Moreover, you are able to freely utilize all the spaces on the wall of your house, this might not be applied if you live in a rented house, many owners of it will definitely not be happy if you leave something firmly on their walls after you left the house.

But on the other hand, there are still lots of families which are not able to purchase a decent house as their shelter. Consequently, the typical temporary choice of them would be to find a good house that comes with a handy renting price. It is not a bad thing to do if finance is one of your biggest issues, but it also comes with many drawbacks. The impoverished environment is one the biggest disadvantages that you have to face with, the space will not always be enough for you to do the daily routine, as a result in inconvenience of your own place where you have to live for a long period. It is not easy to find a niche place to live when you search for it by yourself, the advertisement of the place will not let you know what it is actually going to be looked like. So that you might end up in the kind of places where your privacy will not be respected or got surrounded by many bad behavior neighbors.

To summarize, Owning something will always be the best choice to make if you have the chance to afford it. And to be clarified, it is nothing negative about renting a short-term shelter if your family can not derive too many outcomes when it comes to a payment day.

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  Prompt
  

It is not a controversial topic. It is, as per the orginal presentation, an important one. The writer chose the wrong synonym to use lbased on word meaning. Please note the difference:

Important - of much or great significance or consequence
controversy - a prolonged public dispute, debate, or contention; disputation concerning a matter of opinion.

The keyword in the prompt is "important". so the alternate pleases that carry the same reference /meaning are; "essential consideration" , " critical need", or, " pressing matter ". alternate words of the same or similar meaning must be used to avoid altering the thought presentation or reasoning behind the original topic. There is no matter of ( presented but a fact for most countries There are no opposing views present in the ouginal, which could be the basis of controversy. The writer misunderstood the topic.


As you are graded on the clarity of your opinion, this phrase shows an undecided way of thinking, resulting in an uncleon opinion. This is not a comparison essay. neither is it an extent essay. Had it been one of the 2 aforementioned discussion types ,then your response would have been acceptable. The response format is improper. The initial presentation fell short of the correct discussion requirements. This makes it difficult to get a passing score even if minimal scores are awarded throughout.

@Holt
Thank you so much for your feedback, they mean a lot to me. I am struggling to do the IELTS writing test and I know that I am a bad writer even with my tongue language. So I start to post my writing in many forums in order to know what a proper writing test is like and then improve my English writing skill. I took note of all your advice to ensure not to make the same mistakes again. I will post my writings more frequently. Please feel free to leave your thoughts, I really appreciate it. Again thanks for your thorough comments