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IELTS Writing Task 2 - Owning a home is more important than renting

Epi101 2 / 4 3  
Sep 13, 2020   #1
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting is very important for people.
Why might this be the case?

Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

My answer:
In some countries, buying an estate for residential purposes is considered more important than renting. In my opinion, this is because it offers more freedom and stability in the long run. I consider this trend as a positive situation with many advantages, although there are several adversities that must be faced to achieve house ownership.

Some societies put emphasis on house ownership due to several advantages. Buying a house would allow us to have full possession of the house for our entire lives, or until a determined period (ie. if we sell it). The first advantage to this situation is that we can renovate the house and conform it to our own architectural and style preferences. We have freedom to paint the walls, change the room arrangement, or maybe demolish some parts of the building, without having to adhere to certain rules like we would have to if we rent a house. The second advantage is the stability that it offers. We can choose to stay in a that place for a long time and not have to move around. It would be less of a hassle. This is of particular importance if we already have a family and children. Another positive impact is that we could be more connected to our neighbours and the surrounding community.

However, buying a house nowadays is not cheap. Estate prices are ever increasing in a rate that is exponential. This is due to the also increasing price of land. Therefore, in order to be able to afford house ownership, most people would have to work very hard and save money. Some people could also use credit schemes, which would make the house price more expensive. Sometimes it takes years until the loan pays off.

Overall, I think it's good that in some countries people strive to buy their own house even though it's not always an easy task.
thaolinh 5 / 10 2  
Sep 13, 2020   #2
Hello Epi, here are some of my thought about your work
Some of your expression is quite wordy, for example " in a rate that is exponential". You can correct it into in an exponential rate, clear and enough academic.

You are not allowed to write shorten form in an academic essay: it's will have to correct in to it is. Good is not a word that we should use in an academic writing. You can use beneficial or positive trend, so on.., it depends

Finally, i think we can change the structure of the first advantage, the second advantage. We should use various structure to make your essay more diverse. I suggest you to use Moreover, owning a house also help... , when it comes to, ...

You can correct some grammar mistakes
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4800  
Sep 14, 2020   #3
Have you tried writing this essay using a timer? I mean really using a timer while you:
- Read and comprehend the prompt
- Outline the different topics for discussion
- Draft topic sentences for each question
- Create a draft of the essay body
- Proof read and finalize the content

I do not believe you did so. You wrote a total of 315 words, with spelling and discussion clarity issues. Errors that could have been corrected if you had written less and focused on the quality of the content more. You would have also seen, if you had written the essay using the correct outline format prior to simply writing whatever came to mind, that you would have a difficult time writing that many words.

The prompt restatement still uses the same mix of words from the original ( more important than renting) which still makes that reference a memorized phrase. Good job on responding to the why question. You delivered a clear hypothesis to the reader. However, you should have picked either the negative of the positive to discuss in the essay as you were ask an "or" question rather than a comparative "compare and contrast" question.

When you do not pick a clear side to support, you cannot be given a clear score for the clarity of your opinion. In the end you even said "I think", which will further affect your final score as you do not really have a solid opinion presented in this single opinion defense essay.
OP Epi101 2 / 4 3  
Sep 14, 2020   #4
Dear @Holt and @thaolinh, thank you very much for your feedback

This is my first attempt at doing the IELTS Writing Task 2. I actually tried using a timer and managed to write in 40 minutes. I was surprised at the word count also, but I think I was able to write that long because I typed the answer (since I'm planning to take the computer based test, adn I'm trying to familiarize myself with typing). I spent around 3-5 minutes on revising some errors I noticed, although I realized I could have done better.

I have been educating myself on tips and tricks of writing an opinion essay from a variety of resources (mostly youtube videos and websites) before attempting to write. I suppose there was one source that mentioned that it's okay to agree with both sides of an argument, as long as it is not perfectly balanced. Correct me if I'm mistaken on this. So, I infer that your suggestion on a "positive or negative question" is to just pick one side?

Ah and for the final statement, the question of the essay literally asks "do you think this is a positive or negative situation?". And I used I think as a simple way to deliver my opinion. Do you suggest to not use the phrase "i think" or "in my opinion" in these essays?

You also mentioned there was spelling issue, I noticed one error I made was on the abbreviation ie. (should be i.e). I put it again on spellcheck and couldn't find another error. Could you advise me on which word I mistakenly spelled?

Once agai thank you very much on your constructive input!
thaolinh 5 / 10 2  
Sep 15, 2020   #5
Hi Epi, about spelling and grammar error, I suggest you to use grammar. It is free and quite useful. You can also use the Premium Version for a better experience

And if this is the first time you try Ielts writing task 2, I suggest you to practice for Ielts writing or Writing strategies for the Ielts test, it will be very helpful. You can learn some connection word and structure for an essay in Ielts test.
OP Epi101 2 / 4 3  
Sep 15, 2020   #6
Thank you very much! I already found the first book yiu recommended (15 days practice for the IELTS test). I skimmed through and it seems like a very concise yet comprehensive book. I haven't found your second suggestion though.

Once again I appreciate your help!

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