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Ielts Task 2 - Owning or renting a home

thuhienng 2 / 2  
Nov 10, 2020   #1

The decision on owning a home rather than renting one

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

It is believed in several nations that renting a home is not as important as owning one. Reasons behind this belief can be traced down to several. However, whichever reason it is, this situation can be either positive or negative.

One of the reasons can be the concept of a home has a very special meaning to many communities around the globe. Under one roof, family members, from the older generations to the younger generations, share the memories and help the younger grow. In some cultures, owning a home and having several generations living there is a sentimental belief, as memories fill every place in the home.

Owning a home may bring benefits, especially for the mental purposes. Having a stable place to live means that people do not have to worry about the possibility that the landlord asks them to move out. With that relieved thought, they consider home as a place to release stress and escape from the busty city. Another pro of owning a home can be the creating a happier and more fulfilled childhood for the children. Moving away a lot can cast doubt on a child's thought of what truly a home is.

However, there are certain types of people who are not comfortable with buying and owning a home. Young students after graduating from university tend to rent an apartment or share a house with others as they have not made enough money to buy a house. Internship and jobs can last for just a period of time so they jump from company to company. Many even enjoy traveling and exploring various new cities. Thus they just stay in one place and then fly to the others. It can be said that renting a home would be a more preferable choice for them.

In conclusion, there are a number of reasons leading to one's decision on owning a home rather than renting one. However, depending on each person's lifestyle and life purpose, both owning and renting a house can bring benefits and drawbacks.

Thank you for reviewing! As task 2 is one of my weaknesses, please give me a lot of feedbacks so I can improve more.
leoandersons - / 4 1  
Nov 10, 2020   #2
1st paragraph: Too short for introduction. You need provide some background about what you will talk about later, and then introduce your main points in a thesis statement.

2nd paragraph: You should explain what memories are made in a home that you cannot make when you are renting. You talked about how some cultures think owning a home has sentimental value because "memories fill every place in the home". Give examples of "memories" and explain why owning a home can create them.

3rd paragraph: You described three different reasons to own a home, and you should not try to group all of them under "mental benefits". Pick one of the three examples you gave, and explain in more words why that is a benefit. For example, you can focus on the "not getting kicked out by landlord" benefit, and explain why that is good.

4th paragraph: [However, there are certain types of people who are not comfortable with buying and owning a home. ] You have two reasons to not buy a home, and they are both good reasons. You need to talk more about "young people not making enough money to buy a house" and explain why that is. The other reason about traveling often is well-written.

5th paragraph: The conclusion should summarize the main points of your essay without repeating the same words. Mention briefly the points you wrote about so that someone reading the essay can get the main ideas just by reading the conclusion.

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