Ielts writing TASK 2 (Cambridge 4): Happiness factors

Topic:
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?

What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Give reasons for your answer and include examples from you own knowledge or experience.

Everyone is eager to find happiness in our lives, and we started to view happiness as a goal. However, it is hard to define what is happiness and different reasons can make us feel happiness.

There are several reasons why it is hard to explain happiness. Everyone has their own definition, some may say happiness is getting rich, having tremendous power, or simply just having a nice meal. Nevertheless, people are not easy to be satisfied, we keep wanting more. We often think when we reach specific points we will find happiness, but most of the time we find it is difficult to say that we are happy and satisfied. Therefore, I believe happiness is so hard to define because everyone holds various views, which are changing all the time.

In my opinion, I define happiness as a state of mind that we need to feel rather than to reach it. There are three main factors to achieve happiness. Firstly, I suggest the most important thing is our wellbeing of body and mind since these are what matter us the most. Secondly, being appreciated is a very essential skill in order to feel happiness, for the reason that once we learn to appreciate, we started to love and thank things around us. For example, I remember when I first started to think in an appreciated way, I felt grateful and joy for even the trifles in my life. Finally, sharing our love and appreciations to others will let us give what we received back to society, and I believe it is the most effective way to make us feel a sense of fulfillment.

In conclusion, although happiness has diverse definitions, there are certain ways to feel happiness.

@amy322
I'm just gonna fix some grammar mistakes, starting from the top:
"it is hard to define what is happiness"

"... make us feel happy"

"We often think that when we reach specific points in life we will ... we find it is difficult to say ..."

"which are forever changing"

"... since these factors are what matter to us the most."

"being appreciative "

"... to think in an appreciative way"

"... love and appreciations to others"

Keep going, you're almost there ^^

It would be better for your presentation in the paraphrase section if you do not include information that is not referred to in the original prompt. When you do that, you change the discussion information. In this case, you not only used non specified information, but you also failed to directly outline your discussion topics based on the question responses that were required in the paraphrase + response section of the first paragraph. You could have done it this way instead:

Bliss is considered essential to the high spirits of a person. However, nobody has successfully explained what the true meaning of happiness is. This is difficult to specify because the word is defined differently by each person, all based upon their understanding of the word. One of the determinants of this word is the state of mind of a person.

It is important to give the examiner an overview of what the discussion topics in your succeeding paragraphs will be about as this will help him understand if you understood the discussion questions and what the expected response formats are. In your presentation, you left all of these unclear and thus, left your response without a true direction or meaning.

Your 3 reasons are not related to one another. These reasons created little explained factors when it comes to reaching a state of happiness. The paragraph becomes under developed and lacking in clarity. Try to use more related reasons that can culminate in a singular example that will clearly illustrate or embody the 3 reasons you presented. Such a presentation will help you score better in the C&C section of the scoring consideration.

Develop the concluding paragraph. Always use 3 sentences minimum. Do that by properly restating the important discussion points in the final paragraph presentation.