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Car accidents frequently caused by reckless drivers than faulty vehicles


JCWinner 2 / 3  
Oct 22, 2016   #1
Car accidents frequently caused by reckless drivers than faulty vehicles

An objective narrative essay



While waiting for the bus I heard screeching noise followed by a very loud bang. Everyone turned their heads around to investigate where the sound came from. Then, we discovered it was a car accident at the intersection. Two cars collided almost head on; a large Ford SUV with a smaller Honda station wagon. Immediately, I followed with some onlookers ran toward to the accident scene trying to help.

The SUV was slightly larger and higher than the Honda. The Honda had significant damages. The collision caused both car windshields shattered. The Honda's radiator was totally smashed by SUV's front bumpers. Hot water with steam was leaking onto the road. The impact was so great that the Honda's hood pressed into half barely hang on the car. Broken glasses and debris from the headlights and windshields were scattered distance away from both vehicles.

I look through the car door windows and saw two men inside the Honda car pinned on their seats with inflated airbags. The driver was conscious and struggled to release himself from the airbag and seat belt. The passenger was trembling with both hands holding the inflated airbag. Broken glasses were all over on the dash top penal, but I did not notice any blood. The car engine was running with black smoke and a strong odor of gasoline. People attempted conscientiously to pull open the car doors to release the men. It was impossible since both doors were jammed or locked from inside.

The driver of the SUV was in a state of shock. However, he managed to step out from his car. He was mumbling and nobody understood him, strong smell of alcohol on his breath. Meanwhile, I heard fire truck siren approaching and I quickly walked back to the bus terminate. It was a horrific experience to witness a car accident.

An subjective narrative essay



Michael and I were listening to the news on the car radio. Suddenly, we noticed a large SUV approaching from the opposite direction. It seemed like the driver lost control and was speeding directly toward us. I heard Michael kept shouting at me to watch out. Instantly, he attempted to slam the break as hard as he could to stop the car to avoid the collision. However, the car brake was screeching caused the car shook violently skidded sideways.

Either Michael's was too slow to react or the speed of the SUV was too fast. I was horrific to see the SUV almost in front of me. Immediately my reaction was to hold my head on my knee. When the SUV hit us and I felt a vicious jolt likes I was falling off a roller coaster. It was such a great impact that I sensed the inflated airbag hit my face like a knockout punch, aggressively struck me toward my seat.

I was in a state of shock and struggled to release the seatbelt. My whole body was numb and trembling. I wanted to scream for help but was speechless. My rapid heartbeat felt like a big rock rested on my chest. The smell of gasoline was frightening that enough to kill me. I heard noises, but could not distinguish where it came from. It was like a nightmare I was afraid to open my eyes and fearful to sleep again. Finally, I heard a faint sound of siren like a dream I slowly regained my awareness.

fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Oct 23, 2016   #2
Dear JCWinner, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my response,

I followed with some onlookers ran toward ... -->
I and some onlookers ran to the accident scene, trying to help

As the SUV was (...) than the Honda, t he Honda had significant damages

The collision caused both car [...] scattered distance away from both vehicles. --> you can make it in complex form to avoid repetition, for instance

Even though the collision caused both car windshields shattered all over the places, The Honda's radiator was totally smashed by SUV's front bumpers causing leak of hot water as well as rolled up on the car.

I look through the car door windows ... -->
When I look through the car door windows, there are two men whom are pinned on their seats with inflated airbag. Besides, the conscious driver was struggled to release himself from the airbag and seat belt.

it would be better if you consider to join your sentences with conjunction to form compound sentence or make complex one to prevent repetition. Hope you can improve your writing,

Regards


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