Hello everyone,
I am a new member of this forum. I am improving my writing in order to take an Ielts test. Could you please help to correct my writing?
Thank you very much.
Tien
Herewith my writing:
Topic: In your opinion what is the reasons make people attend university.
Attending the university is the most significant decision in life and people have many reasons to make that decision. In my opinion, there are three most important reasons that are career preparation, increasing knowledge and exploring new experiences.
Firstly, future career preparation is the main reason why people enroll universities. Modern society requires employees advanced their knowledge beside of high school diploma. Most people attend universities because of degrees. After 4-year course they will receive a BA or BS that is a fundamental tool for them to have an initial job. Statistic shows that people have university degree often receive higher pay compares to those only owned high school degrees.
Secondly, during the university time people have such a great time to develop themselves. The subjects they will study are various and advantaged types compare to high school. People read many reference books during the course as well as doing many researches. Fairly says that a university graduated person often has more general knowledge compares to one only completed high school.
Lastly, people explore new experiences during the course. In the beginning, students will learn how think and live independently at least outside of their families. Next, some basic skills for survivor will be improved such as "making friends'' or ''cultivating relationship". After that are plenty of opportunities to travel to new destinations. For instance, I went to Ho Chi Minh city, the biggest city in Vietnam for university and often traveled 2-3 times between this city and my home town every year.
In short, people might enter universities for many personal reasons but I think the most important reasons are future occupation, self-improvement and experiences.
I am a new member of this forum. I am improving my writing in order to take an Ielts test. Could you please help to correct my writing?
Thank you very much.
Tien
Herewith my writing:
Topic: In your opinion what is the reasons make people attend university.
Attending the university is the most significant decision in life and people have many reasons to make that decision. In my opinion, there are three most important reasons that are career preparation, increasing knowledge and exploring new experiences.
Firstly, future career preparation is the main reason why people enroll universities. Modern society requires employees advanced their knowledge beside of high school diploma. Most people attend universities because of degrees. After 4-year course they will receive a BA or BS that is a fundamental tool for them to have an initial job. Statistic shows that people have university degree often receive higher pay compares to those only owned high school degrees.
Secondly, during the university time people have such a great time to develop themselves. The subjects they will study are various and advantaged types compare to high school. People read many reference books during the course as well as doing many researches. Fairly says that a university graduated person often has more general knowledge compares to one only completed high school.
Lastly, people explore new experiences during the course. In the beginning, students will learn how think and live independently at least outside of their families. Next, some basic skills for survivor will be improved such as "making friends'' or ''cultivating relationship". After that are plenty of opportunities to travel to new destinations. For instance, I went to Ho Chi Minh city, the biggest city in Vietnam for university and often traveled 2-3 times between this city and my home town every year.
In short, people might enter universities for many personal reasons but I think the most important reasons are future occupation, self-improvement and experiences.