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IELTS Writing Task 2: cause &solution- anti-social behavior and lack of respect to others

ccalvin97 1 / -  
Feb 19, 2018   #1
Today there is a great increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What can be done to reduce it?

addressing anti-social behavior

Currently, there are a large number of individuals who have anti-social behaviors and lack of respect to others, which could result from under too much pressure in their daily lives and eating too much processed food. For the possible solutions, one includes moral education. In this essay, I will breakdown the causes and suggest the solutions which could be adopted to solve the problem.

There are two main causes which contribute to this anti-social problem. To begin with, citizens are under too much pressure from their jobs and schools nowadays. According to the statements of medical experts, they could feel distressed and frustrated by having such high pressure. Hence, they could contract emotional diseases, which could also lead to having anti-social behavours. Secondly, eating too much processed food could be a cause. The food could contain a wide variety of toxic materials, such as some chemicals. Therefore, their mental health could be impacted and have some anti-social behavours.

To solve the situation, there are two solutions that we can take. First of all, governments can arrange some moral education to the public. They could improve their thinking patterns mental health. Additionally, governments could provide some laws to prevent citizens from acting anti-social behaviors. The public could afraid of the punishments and try to self-improve their behaviours.

Although people have too much pressure could be severe, eating too much processed food can be more serious. The possible solutions, such as providing moral education, is one that have the most positive influence on our society.
DoctorWho - / 46 29  
Feb 20, 2018   #2
Hey Kuan!

Break down your essay into three paragrahs. Introduction, body and conclusion/ending paragraph.
When you get a question, always spend a few minutes to get all your ideas for the essay and jot it down somewhere. After you have sufficient material, you need to organize and present it well. Even if you have some amazing ideas and points in your essay, it is likely to be unnoticed or missed out if the reader finds the material presented haphazardly.

So based on this suggestion, your starting paragraph will address only the problem at hand and the magnitude of the problem, and not mention the cause or your solution to it.

Your second paragraph is your content paragraph where you describe the problem in detail. Here you will elaborate what you think are the causes for the rise in Anti social behaviour ( ie. Stress and processed food consumption according to you ). You can speak more about the stress ( as in, why is school or work stressful. Eg - Multiple exams in schools and less focus on extra curricula activities, Bad economy and people afraid of losing their jobs, excess working hours, etc ).

In the final paragraph, you will offer the strategies you think can tackle this situation effectively and how they can do so.

Focus in your sentence framework and grammar as well. Don't forget to mention the word limit next time.

Keep practising!!
Good Luck! :)
ying_chen 3 / 5  
Feb 20, 2018   #3
Hi Kuan,

For the two questions type of essay, I agree with your current paragraph structure.
-Main paragraph: for first question
-Main paragraph: for second question

The only thing I'd suggest you can improve is in your conclusion session. Using "In conclusion", "to sum up" or other ending phrases and adding the summary in this session will give more overall picture for your article.

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