Numerous criminals continue to commit crimes after they are released from prisons. The causes of this are lack of monitoring and education, while the two possible solutions that can be implemented are paying more attention to the criminal released from prison and providing classes for them.
One of the primary reasons for this occurrence is the absence of being watched. When they are in prison, their daily life is monitored all the time, so they can only restraint themselves from doing bad things that they love to do. Thus, upon being released, with no one watching and controlling them, they can finally do the illegal activities which they have restrained themselves from doing it while being in jail. Another factor contributing to the situation is their lack of education. Many criminals are born in poor families or even abandoned by their parents, making them have less learning opportunities. Because of this, they have no choice but to do immoral actions like stealing or kidnapping in order to make a living.
In order to solve this, the government can address this issue by restricting the criminals who get released and paying more attention to them. Upon being out of prison, these people should only be allowed to move in a certain area like their home, their neighbor or their city, which is extremely helpful for the authorities in spying their action. If they decide to commit crime once again, the police can effectively and immediately take them away when to avoid damages. Beside that, the government can try to open some classes providing basic skills for these people. Crimes tend to happen as people have no knowledge in making money by themselves, thus, they need to steal or do other bad things to make a living for themselves. Therefore, classes about skills like cooking, sewing and so on can be of a great help for these criminals, if this is possible, these methods will allow them to do business legally.
Overall, the causes for this problem are the lack of being looked and their missing of learning, and the two solutions which can be used are watching the actions of the prisoners when they are out of prison and opening courses that give them basic skills needed in making legal money.
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4783 The thesis statement and writer's opinion is well developed in this essay. The topic is clearly restated, along with the possible solutions to the questions provided. The writer is off to a good preliminary passing TA score. Excellent work. The examiner will take note of this and boost the score from the start.
What I can see as a possible problem in this presentation is how you are writing almost 400 words, 380 words to be exact, for an opinion paper that should not be more than 300 words long. I am not confident that you will be able to complete that many words within 40 minutes during the actual test. While your explanations are well developed in this case, you need to do it using less words. Be concise. Short but clear. That is what the examiner would like to see. Use your English skills to explain yourself in a quick manner, as you would in a regular English based classroom or during a quick classroom exam.
