Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce them?



nurainiyusuf16 47 / 73  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

As the impact of civilisation improvement, all nations in the worldwide prepare their self for their idea to be a millennium country. Preparing their future generation becomes the biggest preparation for them. But sometimes, big pressure has to be deal by children for making the idea comes true. Especially in academic life, students have to face out hard curriculum, spend most of their time with it, and feel under pressure because of that. This essay will first discuss about how academic could make children feeling high pressure, and then talk about how changing of curriculum be the best solution.

Nowadays, schools, teacher, books, and all of things that relate to education become something that is avoided by children. Too much pressure for improving their cognitive makes them exhausted and saturated. Owing to the fact, which is revealed by a children psychologist, most of children felt great stressed because of pressures that they got in academic. A plenty of them even had willingness to refuse next degree of education since they think what they got in school only pressure that make them uncomfortable. It also affects to their social and commercial perspective which damage due to their feelings.

However, there is one solution that we can do to prevent this continuity pressure, which is by changing of curriculum. It is proven by most of schools in Purwokerto, Indonesia, they changed the curriculum to the flexible one, which students only attend to school five days a week, and only spent six hours at school. It makes students delightful since in the rest of time they can spend it by playing and helping their parents in farmland.

All in all, education is a main necessary for children, but too much pressure is not good for them. Designing curriculum for children is the best way for reaching both health and smart generation.

MufliHamid - / 21  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
HOWEVER, THERE IS A PERFECT SOLUTION THAT CAN BE TAKEN TO STOP THIS CONTINUOUS PRESSURE, IT IS BY MODIFYING THE CURRICULUM. IT IS PROVEN BY THE REPORT FROM CNN THAT SHOWS ALMOST ALL SCHOOLS IN PURWEKERTO (ONE OF THE REGIONS IN INDONESIA) HAVE ALTERED THE EDUCATION SYSTEM TO BE MORE FLEXIBLE THANKS TO THE GOVERNMENT COMMAND. THIS OBLIGATES STUDENTS TO ATTEND THE CLASS ONLY 5 DAYS IN A WEEK WITH 6 HOURS LEARNING DURATION PER DAY. THE RESULT IS AMAZING, THE WELL-BEING OF THE STUDENTS INCREASE SIGNIFICANTLY SINCE THE FIRST YEAR APPLIED, AND THE PERCENTAGE OF ABSENTEEISM EXPERIENCES A DOWNWARD TREND. ALL OF THESE IMPROVEMENTS IS BECAUSE OF THE LESS PRESSURE GIVING BY SCHOOL.
mardian24 46 / 60  
Nov 29, 2016   #3
Hi I want to give some comments

1. ... all nations in the worldwide prepare their selfthemselves for their idea ...

2. But sometimes, big pressure has to be dealdealt by children for making ...
You can use passive by using V3

3. how changing of curriculum can be the best solution.
You need to add verb, because there is no verb

Thank you
Keep writing


Home / Writing Feedback / What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce them?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳