Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Causes and Results of Rising Global Population


jocelyn wang 3 / 6 4  
Aug 11, 2019   #1

consequences of the World Population Growth



The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?


It has been hotly discussed nowadays that the accrual of the total global population becomes a severe problem to humanity. There are many valid causes account for the increasing number, as well as the serious consequences are contributed by them.

As a matter of fact, the birth rate is decreasing in developed countries these years, while it is remaining statistically high in developing countries. Various reasons lead to the current condition. Firstly, the medical service in third countries is unadvanced and insufficient to help maternities. They couldn't have the chances to decide whether to keep babies or not. Secondly, society mainly depends on manual labors to support economics. Hence, the bigger the family is, the more productive they are. Finally, some religions have particular beliefs that abortion and birth control are immoral.

As far as I am concerned, the increasing population is the origin of all the potential threats to humanity. The most challenging consequence is how badly people are demanding natural resources and causing numerous damages to the environment, such as pollution and the extinction of animals. Apart from it, the most direct impact will be faced by the human being is the shortage of food. As the demand consistently increases, global hunger will introduce to people shortly when there is insufficient land to produce provision.

In conclusion, I believe that we are generally facing the consequences of the rising population over the world. Unless there are steps to tackle with it, not only human but also the living creatures on the planet will sooner suffer from catastrophic disaster. (260words)

Maria [Contributor] - / 952 342  
Aug 13, 2019   #2
@jocelyn wang
Hello. I hope you're learning from the feedback you're gathering here. I'm here to provide you with writing feedback on this essay.

Firstly, I still find that the structure of your sentences can be improved if you keep a balanced approach to writing. Right off the bat, the first paragraph lacks a bit of direction when it comes to this part. Notice how you have squeezed all the information into two sentences when you could have had smaller chunks of it.

Furthermore, try to also be consistent with he tone and the perspective you're taking on in the essay. Notice how you switched your perspective midway in the second paragraph. If you're consistently taking on an outsider's insight, you can opt to keep it this way.


Home / Writing Feedback / Causes and Results of Rising Global Population