Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Causes of stress in society nowadays - working environment, financial condition and family issue.



Hoaidepchi 2 / 4  
Dec 14, 2016   #1

Stress - an integral part of modern life



Stress is not a new phenomenon. It was caused among our daily life activities. When stressed, there will be lots of negative emotions which may affect badly to our heath. In my opinion, there are three main factors leading to stress. They are working environment, financial condition and family issue.

In a certain age, people will have to work in order to earn their living which means they have to face a new environment in the working place. When working during long hours or having a heavy workload, you will feel stressful every time going to work. Even your leader and teammate sometime don't cooperate with you. Under that circumstance, stress comes will be a matter of time.

Each of us has different finance to worry about. Successfully settling financial problems let us stay away from pressure. However, if you fail in managing your own finance, it will lead you in a state of stress. For example, you don't have enough money to pay bills or your salary is not enough to feed your family and even an unexpected accident happens to you taking away lots of money... When those things happen, stress comes.

Finally, I want to mention about stress occur in family issue. A familiar condition leading to stress can be an argument or a conflict with your family member. After that you will have a short-term stress and this kind of stress is easily to pass. But if things become tensions such as a divorce, it will impact on all the family members and creates a long-term stress which may have a serious effect especially on children.

Stress always happens in our life. In my point of view, stress is just a challenge. Some people lets themselves under control, others try their best to get through stress in order to have a happier life. You want to be a victim under stress or you want to be a survivor, I think you already have the answer.

mualla 19 / 92  
Dec 15, 2016   #2
Hi,

Although I can see your main points about stress, I believe your writing would benefit if you did not refer directly to the reader. Because your writing sounds more like a conversation than a formal writing. Do not use "you" in your essays unless you have to. For instance instead of saying, "...you will feel stressful.." say something like "one/a person can feel stressful..." Once you change up your writing and write it formally I will look at it again. But for now, I think you should focus on changing this.

I'll look at your writing once it is fixed up.


Home / Writing Feedback / Causes of stress in society nowadays - working environment, financial condition and family issue.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳