my dream job
All started in elementary school, Like many kids I used to said that my dream was to become a teacher. When my friends came over my house we always play different games but my favorite one was when I was the teacher and my friends were my students.
In 6th grade, my mother was my teacher and seeing my mom enjoying her job everyday and also seeing my classmates loving her, was when passion for education started to grow inside me.I always looked up to my mom and to this day I still doing it, she was the best mother but at the same time the best teacher I have ever had. My mom made learning fun, with a lot of hands on activities, projects and always with cooperative learning. As a great teacher, brain breaks motivational support or quotes to inspire us were always a must.
She is my idol and I am her fan number one, and that is why after high school I went to the University of Huelva, Spain, to start my career as an educator in elementary school. Because like her, I enjoy so much seeing children not only grow in a classroom but in life. But what I love the most about teacher's career is that we can provide the tools necessary for every learning style and create great minds and amazing children.
Moreover I believe that being an educator is a rewarding career where you can have fun at the same time that you teach children lessons plan and life lessons. Also teachers can create strong bonds with their students to have a positive environment in class, just like my mom did with me an my classmates in elementary school and like I am going to do the day that I get a job as an educator.
I have to be thankful for my mother because her passion become my passion too and I will never regret choosing this amazing career as it is being an educator.
Hi. some grammar issues:
i used to say
"... day I am still doing it"
"with me and my classmates "
If you have ever had any experience teaching kids like at home or temporarily somewhere, do add that. This will give your answer the weightage required.
Hope this helps.
@GATE
thank you so much, so overall is a good essay to pass the cbest?? Thank you so much for your review
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15460 Some grammar issues can be seen in your work. Mistakes such as "me an (AND) my classmates" are easily seen by the reviewer. Your use of a capital letter after a comma is also a writing mistake as all first words of a new sentence and nouns are capitalized in the presentation. By the way, change your verb form auxiliary in the sentence "... I used to said (say)"... Brush up on your connecting word usage (When my friends came over TO my house).
The essay sometimes lack clarity such as wehn you referred to your mother. You did not set up the sentence to first indicate that your mother is a teacher, so the explanation you gave was kind of confusing to the reader. The word "because" is never used to kick off a sentence because it is a connecting word.
As for the question you posed to GATE, since he is not a contributor, he is not allowed to consider if your essay is passing or not. He is only a student himself and not a CBEST reviewer nor test taker. However, contributors at this forum are equipped to make such deductions so you should be asking a contributor that question instead. I am a contributor and I can tell you that this essay is acceptable at this point. Based on the existing errors, the highest score you could possibly get for this type of writing is within the 3 bracket.
@Holt
Thank you so much Holt is my first time in this forum and I did not know about contributors. But I really appreciate that you took your time to review my prompt and gave me some advices. Thank you!!!
