Hi everyone, I am preparing for CBEST Writing. I failed for the first time because of poor usage, structure and conventions.
Can anyone take look at my essay please. Thank you so much.
Should there be any restriction on how many years a teacher may teach the same subject or grade level? explain your answer. Support your opinion with specific examples.
The issue of setting a certain number of year for teachers to teach the same subject is a controversial one. Some believe that it is easier for teachers to get bored if they keep teaching the same subject repeatedly. Others believe that teachers will find the proper teaching styles after experiencing several years. After careful thoughts, I think that it is beneficial for teachers to be more expert on the same subject and explore different styles after a long process.
First of all, it takes many years for teachers to be extremely familiar with the same object. Teachers are rarely gaining experiences if there is time limited for teaching the same subject. For example, my high school history teacher, an experienced and senior man, was able to give a sophisticated lecture without any notes and preparations. It is difficult for a young teacher to achieve the high level of familiarity and expertise if they only teach the same subject for couple years.
Secondly, Teachers can seek for different teaching styles and techniques. Teachers need to change and modify the teaching methods and skills constantly, and find the best way to teach. For instance, if a young teacher noticed that the teaching style was not effective for the class he can always fix his lesson plan and give an attempt for the next year. Changing the subject frequently would not allow teachers to practice and focus on the same subject.
Thirdly, teachers have less stress on teaching if they are only prepared for the same subject. Teacher should teach what they are specialized on. Being pressured about the unfamiliar subject or grade level would have negative effects on the class. If a fifth-grade teacher always teaches the English subject and the same grade level, he will feel relax and confident to handle different problems. The more experiences he has, the better performance he could achieve.
In conclusion, teachers would gain many benefits by teaching the same subjects or grade levels. It is important to give time for teachers to try multiple teaching methods, update their skill, and learn from experiences.
Hello
Please, consider applying the following stylistic adjustments:
setting [...] assigning... year [...] years...
Some [...] people believe that it is very likely for teachers to become frustrated while teaching the same subject for years on end.
Others believe that [...] teachers will benefit from doing this because it should help them to work out their unique teaching style.
After [...] having contemplated the issue... I think [...] I came to conclude that it should prove beneficial for educators to specialize in teaching a particular subject...
for teachers to [...] become thoroughly familiar with...
Teachers [...] rarely gain any experience if not provided with the opportunity to teach the same subject for a number of years.
without [...] relying on any notes.
to achieve [...] to become an expert in the field, unless he or she is willing to apply a continual effort in becoming ever more knowledgeable of the taught subject.
Secondly [...] Also, one's continual affiliation with the same subject allows the concerned person to experiment with different teaching styles.
modify the [...] teaching strategies...
and find the best way to teachyou should just remove this part o the sentence - it's redundant.
noticed [...] notices...
he can [...] he or she will always be able to...
Thirdly [...] Finally, teachers will experience less stress if...
Teacher [...] Teachers should only be allowed to teach alongside the lines of their professional specialization.
Being pressured [...] to teach some unfamiliar subject...
he will [...] feel confident enough to...
the better [...] would be his professional performance.
I hope this helped. Regards.
Hi Wang, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I hope you do find this website useful as well as helpful to your writing reference, we strive to provide you with the most comprehensive and accurate feedback we can, in order for you to build that confidence in submitting your writing projects.
Now, as I go through the essay, I must say that you have managed to enumerate several points to consider in this writing, most of this notes are in definitive elaboration which makes sure that the idea comes across the readers.
Furthermore, what I also would like to mention is the fact that, you never forget to take examples in every paragraph, in order to further elaborate the idea that you are trying to convey to your readers and this gives extra substance to the essay, not only that this will give ease in understanding your approach with the prompt but will also help to know that you understood what is asked of you to write. I hope you keep writing and practice as often as you can.
Thanks for your feedback. Can you please give me more suggestions of how to practice on appropriate usage since English is my second language. Considering the CBEST writing criteria, I am not sure how to improve the area of usage, structure, and conventions.
Hi Wang, thank you for appreciating our work here on EF, it definitely gives us the strength to go on and continue what we do best. Now, when it comes to practicing the English language, one thing that you can do is to use the language in any way you can, talk, read, watch tv, singing in English and pretty much in any chance you can.
Though, it may not always be a comfortable way of talking to friends and family in English when they themselves are not exercising the language, one thing that you can also do is to be a part of an English speaking clubs and this will help you a lot.
Further to your CBEST writing criteria, honestly, I'm not that familiar with this structure as it is practiced in Oregon and California, though upon researching, I found out that the scale is 40-80 with an average score of 41 as a passing remark. Now, having this as a scale, I would gladly give you a 55, there is still a lot of modifications to be done, practice, practice, practice.
Thank you Justivy03 for your advice. I will try to write at least one essay everyday. Hope I could pass the exam next time!
