Here is a new essay! Please advice! Any help will be appreciated! Thank you!
Topic: Some educators believe that the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance. It allows the teacher to better relate to his or her students, to better deal with student problems, and to better provide a positive and constructive role model. Present your arguments in agreement with this statement, or, if you disagree, present your viewpoints as to what believe is most important qualify for a teacher to have.
The Teacher
I strongly agree with the idea that the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance. Teaching is not an easy job. Working with children and molding personalities engage a big responsibility. Moreover, a teacher shapes students and can change their life forever. Self-acceptance is a great quality which allows the teacher to communicate with the students, understand their problems, and grant a life model.
The teacher must have a strong communication with the students. First, the educator needs to present his or her rules for the class. At the beginning of the school year all class' rules should be presented and discussed in a forum. Also, posters with rules are helpful because students need to be reminded of the policies, over the school year. Second, two way of communication are very important in this job. The instructor must have the ability to listen to students' opinion and to communicate very clear the class' conventions. The teacher's rules can be adjusted to fit the class needs better. Finally, for the educator it is important to leave the door open for communication with the students. Tutoring, after school or during lunch time, allows students to come and ask for help on the topic of class' lesson and homework. Many students are more confident in one-to-one discussions rather than asking in front of the entire class. The communication with students is a necessity and is part of teaching job.
Like every one, students have their problems. Primarily, the troubles start at the family level. For example, divorced parents generate a chain of confusion for the child, because at a young age it is hard to decide who is right. Also, one parent or both without a job can create tension inside of the family, with a negative impact on a student's school performance. A health problem in the family can be a source of trouble for the student. Another problem that affects students is related to friendships. I remember a day when one of my students came to my class and asked for a suggestion regarding her relationship with a classmate. My advice helped her and after a short time, I saw her in good spirits again. Last but not least, most dilemmas are from daily lessons. Many students come for tutoring during lunch time or after school. Every day, two or three students are in my class to ask for help or just to clarify a question. Sometimes, they come just to spend time with me and discuss their problems.
Along with their parents and idols, the teacher represents a model for the students. The educators represent a positive model for the students because are competent, always ready with the answer, and trustfully. Moreover, students learn better because belief in their teachers. Also, during class interaction, the teachers mold the student attitude and behavior. Some of them want to become teachers. Some would like to be a model for other youth generations as their teachers were for them. As a result, every year, some of my students attend to the universities with the aspiration to become teachers. Teachers can be a positive and constructive model for their students.
Communication, understanding students' problems, and being a life model, is a great quality that teachers must have. It is not only because the teacher represents a model for students, but also, for a while, the teacher is more than a parent, is a friend. The doors are open for communication, advice, or an idea and the teacher becomes an example and the student is confident to ask for help. The most important quality that a teacher can have is self-acceptance.
Be careful: You use the exact words of the prompt in your first paragraph. You need to put everything into your own words.
This essay is strong, with good examples, but sometimes wordy and repetitive. Also, I notice that it lacks a conclusion. Before adding a conclusion, go through and ruthlessly eliminate unneeded words and phrases.
Thank you! I eliminated some phrases and words and I changed others. I re-wrote the thesis and I re-arranged the last paragraph. Please advice! Thank you in advance!
Moreover, a teacher is the one who shapes the students and can change their life forever.
What does this essay have to do with the quality of self-acceptance, again? You mention it briefly in the intro and conclusion, but the essay seems mostly to be about the qualities you believe a successful teacher should possess, namely good communication skills and the ability to be a positive role model, neither of which you tie back to self-acceptance.
Sean, you've put your finger on what's been bothering me about this essay all along.
I read again the topic.
Some educators believe that the most important trait a teacher can have is self-acceptance. It allows the teacher to better relate to his or her students, to better deal with student problems, and to better provide a positive and constructive role model.
Base on first and second sentence, I understood that, if a teacher can better relate..., better deal... and better provide..., then the teacher has self-acceptance and I developed the essay describing these qualities.
Is that out of topic?
Perhaps you should start by defining self-acceptance. Self-acceptance refers, very broadly, to a person's ability to be comfortable with who they are. You talk more about how a good teacher should be comfortable with who other people are, namely the students. Now, you might be able to argue that someone who has good self-acceptance will be better able to accept others, but you do not argue this at the moment, and it is certainly not self-evident (a teacher who is racist and comfortable with it, for instance, might be said to manifest good self-acceptance, yet still have trouble relating well to students, especially minority ones). In a narrower sense, self-acceptance can refer to a person's awareness of his or her own strengths and weakness, and his or her ability to cope well with that knowledge psychologically. It shouldn't be too difficult to write an essay arguing that a teacher who knows his or her own weaknesses is going to be better off than a teacher who is unaware of them. You sort of are on the hook for a new essay, though, if you want to successfully handle the prompt. Your current essay, while very interesting, is sort of arguing a different topic.
Here, we have a very common logical error. The question states that self-acceptance helps teachers to relate better to students, etc. You assumed that this means that teachers who relate well to students necessarily have self-acceptance.
But consider: Using flashcards helps to build vocabulary. Flora has an excellent vocabulary. Therefore, Flora has used flashcards.
Not true! There are lots of other ways to build vocabulary. Similarly, there are many, many factors that facilitate good relations between teachers and students. Self-acceptance may be one of them, but being able to relate well to students does not, in fact, demonstrate that a teacher has self-acceptance.
