IELTS essay about CDs or DVDs in the libraries

The purpose of libraries is to provide books.They should not use limited resources and space to provide CDs or DVDs.To what extent do you agree?

In the present age, libraries are playing significant roles in our lifes,and most of them provide CDs or DVDs,which has aroused an intense debate among people.In this essay,

I am going to discuss the pros and cons of this issue.

Personally,I totally disagree with this perspective.To start with,CDs or DVDs will not occupy too much space,most of time they will be placed in a corner.Moreover,when people get tired,they can skim some CDs or DVDs,which I believe will make them relaxed.For some people,the supply of CDs or DVDs provides conveniences to them when they want to buy some stuffs by coincidence.Obviously,a large amount of knowledge can be stored in discs where people can get information.It is no doubt that the main purpose of libraries is to provide information,and CDs or DVDs is just another valid approach.We can see more vivid images,hence,we can absorb knowledge in an easier and funnier way.Therefore,with the development of technology,CDs and DVDs in the library are kinds of positive results.

However,I admit that most space in the libraries should place books,which are important to people's lifes.But that does not mean CDs or DVDs should not be provided.They can store much more information with less size,so many people would like to choose this way.

In conclution,products like these promote the variety of libraries.They bring people a modern and convenient approach.That will not conflict the exist of books,and they will be accepted by more people.According to the essay,advantages of providing CDs or DVDs in libraries outweigh the disadvantages obviously.

please help me polish the essay.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Hi,

I start with the introduction. In this part u could not convey the main idea of the topic and it is a little vague. U should say which type of debate has created among people and why? In addition this essay is an "agree or disagree" type not "advantages and disadvantages". U should apparently mention your own idea in the introduction (agree or disagree). So, the use of "pros and cons " in this essay is not suitable.


stating agree or disagree in the body is not a good choice. You should state that in the introduction and then in the body support your opinion through at least three paragraphs.

In "agree or disagree" type u should choose one side (agree or disagree), do not do both, and try to support the opinion in three paragraphs

The third paragraph is too short and the supports are not adequate. Furthermore, in this paragraph you wrote some ideas that you previously mentioned in the second paragraph (do not repeat yourself)


This sentence shows that u confused the topic with this one "Do you think the advantages of the statement outweigh the disadvantages?".

Be careful about the types of topics. I hope the comments be useful
Regards
Ahmad

Thank you very much, your comments are helpful :)

And I wonder if it is ok to quote the sentence in the title. thx

Which sentence do you mean???!!!! I could not get it

umm..I mean "They should not use limited resources and space to provide CDs or DVDs "

Can I use this sentence in my first paragraph? Like ''some people think that they should not use blah blah...,which I am totally disagree."

You should not copy the topic, but also you must restate it. The structure of an introduction for this type of the topic should be like what I wrote below:

1. Motivator/thesis statement: Write a sentence to attract the attention of a reader (this can be one of the following statements :"attractive question", "quotation", "description", "an attractive event or fact", etc

2. Reword the topic. In this way you can show that the essay is going to focus on what.
3. Give your own opinion (agree and disagree). You should briefly mention the reasons why you agree or disagree with the topic.

Good luck
Ahmad