Hi Miss Bada'..
I have read your writing. In this moment, I am gonna focus on contents. Please, you review my note so that you can improve your writing in the next term.
The equipment used to make cement are mixer, ...
Please, you avoid writing detailed information in an overview of writing task 1. Tha is supposed to be explained in the body paragraph. I wanna give you the alternative overview.
"Overall, it can be obviously seen that there are four main steps needed to produce the cement before it is utilized. Meanwhile, the process of concrete production only passes one step, but this mixes four essential sources."
... clay are poured into A crusher MACHINE to change...
... cylinder heater that
ROTATE when it is ...
After that, it is grindED in order to become THE cement. Finally,
THEcement is ABLE TO BE packed
IN A bag.
... diagram, THE cement will be used ...
... poured into THE mixer MACHINE together ...
after THE concrete form is ...