Can you guys help me out with this essay?
I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After 19 century, everything changes dramatically like never before - Life today is more comfortable
Can you guys help me out with this essay?
I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After 19 century, everything changes dramatically like never before. An influx of artificial machines and new lifestyles impact our world. Although people lived before 19 century never benefited from these changes, I think they leaded easier and more comfortable lifetime than we do because of these reasons.
First, their life was simple. They didn't have lots of possibilities like we do. There weren't a lot people who would think that he or she wants to go to somewhere really far away. People in china today take every avenue going to the US but in the past whoever went to Beijing was considered huge! Also, their education was not thought so important. Nowadays, there are two hills struggle many Chinese school kids and their parent named "Test for middle school education" and "test for high school education" and they are considered as "only way to happy life" in China today. But back to my grandparents' day, it never happened.
Additionally, their life was comfortable. China is raising its population and pollution simultaneously that one in past couldn't imagine. China recently gets a seriously problem on air pollution because of particle matter (PM). It causes range from prematurely death, respiration failure, and lung cancer to reproduction system shutting-off. Also, accumulate of population causes raises in cost of houses, cost of education, and cost of public services and so on.
In conclusion, life in those days was in the past and there is no way we can call it back. Human innovation and technology improvement have a bad aftermath on our day but who can be sure saying our future isn't bright?
I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After 19 century, everything changes dramatically like never before. An influx of artificial machines and new lifestyles impact our world. Although people lived before 19 century never benefited from these changes, I think they leaded easier and more comfortable lifetime than we do because of these reasons.
First, their life was simple. They didn't have lots of possibilities like we do. There weren't a lot people who would think that he or she wants to go to somewhere really far away. People in china today take every avenue going to the US but in the past whoever went to Beijing was considered huge! Also, their education was not thought so important. Nowadays, there are two hills struggle many Chinese school kids and their parent named "Test for middle school education" and "test for high school education" and they are considered as "only way to happy life" in China today. But back to my grandparents' day, it never happened.
Additionally, their life was comfortable. China is raising its population and pollution simultaneously that one in past couldn't imagine. China recently gets a seriously problem on air pollution because of particle matter (PM). It causes range from prematurely death, respiration failure, and lung cancer to reproduction system shutting-off. Also, accumulate of population causes raises in cost of houses, cost of education, and cost of public services and so on.
In conclusion, life in those days was in the past and there is no way we can call it back. Human innovation and technology improvement have a bad aftermath on our day but who can be sure saying our future isn't bright?
After 19 century, everything changes dramatically like never before. An influx of artificial machines and new lifestyles impactimpacts our world.
You should not write numbers in your essay, except for years and statistics.
I think they leaded easier and more comfortable lifetime
they leaded an easier and more comfortable life
their life was simple
their lives were simple
It causes range from
It poses many serious repercussions, ranging from... to...
accumulate of population causes raises in cost of houses
the steady increase in population leads to a significant rise in the costs of housing, education and public services.
What is the purpose and full prompt of your essay? Are you preparing for IELTS or TOEFL?
Since the 19th century. Why do you choose to write about the 19th century in your introduction?
everything has changed
This part is not necessary.
Avoid using contractions in your essay.
often travel/visit
was not given much priority
There has been an immense increase in the population of China
a serious problem
You should pay attention to your grammar!
19 century
Since the 19th century. Why do you choose to write about the 19th century in your introduction?
everything changes
everything has changed
because of these reasons.
This part is not necessary.
didn't
Avoid using contractions in your essay.
take every avenue going
often travel/visit
was not thought so important
was not given much priority
China is raising its population
There has been an immense increase in the population of China
a seriously problem
a serious problem
You should pay attention to your grammar!
Can you guys help me out with this essay? I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should write your essay and post it here for comments for improvement. You can follow this essay structure (dumi suggests this to others and I too feel it is a quite logical structure)
If you have more reasons you can keep increasing the number of body paragraphs.
Thank you very much!!!!!
It is for my TOEFL test.
you know, I am not very good at grammar...but I will keep an eye on.
P.S. the "avenue" in the article means "method"(different meaning)
It is for my TOEFL test.
you know, I am not very good at grammar...but I will keep an eye on.
P.S. the "avenue" in the article means "method"(different meaning)
1. Keep writing to improve your grammar
2. Everything you have written is only about life at china. I think still you can widen up your essay by quoting examples in general.
3. Try to structure your essay as the senior members are suggesting in this forum. You can read other essay and try to know.
2. Everything you have written is only about life at china. I think still you can widen up your essay by quoting examples in general.
3. Try to structure your essay as the senior members are suggesting in this forum. You can read other essay and try to know.
They didn't have lots of possibilities like we do
They didn't have lots of options that we have today.
There weren't a lot people who would think that he or she wants to go to somewhere really far away. People in china today take every avenue going to the US but in the past whoever went to Beijing was considered huge!
These are not very good examples for your reasoning. Travelling had been there in the past too, and it was always a valued exposure irrespective of times. The education example sounds much better.
