Life today is much more accessible and comfortable in comparison to the past

Please review my Toefl essay. Thank you!

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT?

Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.

The growing speed of innovation and development of modern technology has made human life easier in many ways. Therefore, I believe that life today is much more accessible and comfortable in comparison to the past. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, medical improvements enabled humans to combat harmful viruses as well as fatal diseases, saving thousands of lives. This was almost impossible when our grandparents were kids. Back in the old days, people have limited ways to achieve optimum treatment, and thus they are prone to life-threatening diseases. However, today, we have more chance to shed light on illnesses. thanks to the advancement in technology, modern devices and machines can aid in treatment and surgeries, keeping people alive for much longer. As human life expectancy is increasing by the day, older people now can spend more time with their families and fully enjoy their lives.

Secondly, technology also has a positive impact on our lives. The invention of electronic devices such as computers, smartphones, tablets and so on has contributed to enhancing communication between people. In this digital age, we can stay at home and still be able to exchange information with others through the Internet. Take my own experience as an example, one time I and my classmate were assigned to work on a project regarding global warming in a geography class. We needed to complete this assignment within a week, which is a short period of time. At first, we find it extremely difficult to work together as our homes are way too far from each other to have a face-to-face meeting. In addition, our schedules conflict, I am busy during the day and only have time in the evening, but she is not available at that time as she worked the night shift for a coffee shop in town. Nevertheless, we eventually manage to successfully finish our projects by discussing and sending messages and through emails and social media. It was highly effective and convenient because all we need is a computer with access to the internet.

In conclusion, I believe that life today has been greatly improved compared to the days our grandparents were children. This is because modern technology has increased people's life expectancy and enhance communication between people.

Hi, I would like to give you some comments.
Firstly, in term of grammar, I think you have a problem while using relative clause: "I feel this way for two reasons, which I will ..." there should not be a comma before "which" just because it was used for "two reasons", not for the whole clause. (can you check it, please?)

At the second paragraph, your example would be more suitable and convinced if you put a comparison to the past, even an imagination. I just feel a lack of something.

This is a TOEFL essay. It is totally different from the IELTS essay. You need not take great pains to separate your restatement from your reasoning sentence. In fact, you can write only 3 paragraphs for this essay and end up with a well developed presentation. There is something you have to be sure of when you write the introduction paragraph though. Make sure you directly answer the question. In your current presentation, you already deliver a reason for your response, but you failed to actually say "I disagree with the statement because..." Once you state your disagreement, include the 2 reasons for it to lay the foundation for the succeeding discussions. You need to mention the keywords in the original presentation in a synonym form. Therefore, grandparents = kinsperson, clansperson, previous family generation, or any variation thereof. You also do not offer a restatement of the comparison between the past and current life as indicated in the original prompt. You did not do a very good job at the original topic reference. Try to provide a closer restatement next time.

The first reasoning paragraph has nothing to do with comfort and ease of life. That should not have been included in the discussion as it refers to health issues and how it was treated in the past. We are talking about creature comforts here. Cinema sized TV sets, game consoles, microwaves, induction stoves, things that make everyday life easier and more enjoyable would have been the more proper focus.