After 19 century, everything changes dramatically like never before - Life today is more comfortable

Can you guys help me out with this essay?
I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guys help me out with this essay?
I really appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 19 century, everything changes dramatically like never before. An influx of artificial machines and new lifestyles impact our world. Although people lived before 19 century never benefited from these changes, I think they leaded easier and more comfortable lifetime than we do because of these reasons.

First, their life was simple. They didn't have lots of possibilities like we do. There weren't a lot people who would think that he or she wants to go to somewhere really far away. People in china today take every avenue going to the US but in the past whoever went to Beijing was considered huge! Also, their education was not thought so important. Nowadays, there are two hills struggle many Chinese school kids and their parent named "Test for middle school education" and "test for high school education" and they are considered as "only way to happy life" in China today. But back to my grandparents' day, it never happened.

Additionally, their life was comfortable. China is raising its population and pollution simultaneously that one in past couldn't imagine. China recently gets a seriously problem on air pollution because of particle matter (PM). It causes range from prematurely death, respiration failure, and lung cancer to reproduction system shutting-off. Also, accumulate of population causes raises in cost of houses, cost of education, and cost of public services and so on.

In conclusion, life in those days was in the past and there is no way we can call it back. Human innovation and technology improvement have a bad aftermath on our day but who can be sure saying our future isn't bright?

You should not write numbers in your essay, except for years and statistics.


they leaded an easier and more comfortable life


their lives were simple


It poses many serious repercussions, ranging from... to...


the steady increase in population leads to a significant rise in the costs of housing, education and public services.

What is the purpose and full prompt of your essay? Are you preparing for IELTS or TOEFL?


Since the 19th century. Why do you choose to write about the 19th century in your introduction?


everything has changed


This part is not necessary.


Avoid using contractions in your essay.


often travel/visit


was not given much priority


There has been an immense increase in the population of China


a serious problem
You should pay attention to your grammar!

You should write your essay and post it here for comments for improvement. You can follow this essay structure (dumi suggests this to others and I too feel it is a quite logical structure)

If you have more reasons you can keep increasing the number of body paragraphs.

Thank you very much!!!!!
It is for my TOEFL test.

you know, I am not very good at grammar...but I will keep an eye on.
P.S. the "avenue" in the article means "method"(different meaning)

1. Keep writing to improve your grammar

2. Everything you have written is only about life at china. I think still you can widen up your essay by quoting examples in general.

3. Try to structure your essay as the senior members are suggesting in this forum. You can read other essay and try to know.

They didn't have lots of options that we have today.


These are not very good examples for your reasoning. Travelling had been there in the past too, and it was always a valued exposure irrespective of times. The education example sounds much better.