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Do changes that make our lives easier not neccessarily make them better?



redtoenails 1 / 1  
Jun 22, 2010   #1
I will be a junior (high school) next year, and plan on taking my SAT in October. Here's an essay that I wrote as an assignment for the SAT Prep class I'm taking this summer. We have 25 minutes to write, and were given a prompt. Here's the question: Do changes that make our lives easier not neccessarily make them better? Please state your opinion on this essay, your likes and dislikes, and anything you believe I can improve on.

Technology may sometimes be helpful, but causes a lack of communication for those who live in this genereation. People today rely more on calculators, phones, and computers to do the things we don't. With text messaging and e-mail, young adults rarely use the telephone. By not interactiong verbally with others, many do not excell in communications

Many people today use technology to allow this to be prossessed smoothly. But, what would happen if all gadgets malfunction? This would cause a panic. Many are too dependent on having things done for them. Many will see how many people are lacking in such basic skills. (i.e. reading, writing, speaking publicly)

As great as technology can be, it can also be overwhleming. Too much technology has allowed many people to get away with simple skills that we were taught in elementary shool. Which ever way the future turns, technology will be a few steps behind.

imshtark 1 / 9  
Jun 22, 2010   #2
Technology addresses the prompt well, but you need help on your grammar and spelling. I would recommend using a spell-check. I would also recommend opening your sentence with something like:"Technology can be very helpful, but has a number of negative effects on society as well.

Hope this helps!
linmark 2 / 325  
Jun 23, 2010   #3
Here's the question: Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?

You first need to establish that the CHANGES you choose to write about technological ones. It will also help focus your 25 minutes worth of writing effort to narrow down what exactly you mean by technological change eg. developments/progress in mobile phone technology which cause people to text or e-mail versus speak over the phone (as you place importance on verbal communication.) Mention of more gadgets (calculators and computer) just shows human dependency on machines.

By not interacting verbally with others, many do not excell in communications

Caution: Be careful of broad generalities - excelling in verbal interaction does not necessarily qualify as excelling in overall communication.
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Jun 23, 2010   #4
Technology may sometimes be helpful, but causes a lack of communication for those who live in this generation .

People today rely more on calculators, phones ; should this say email?

, and computers to do the things we don't...(this sentence seems incomplete.)
By not interacting verbally with others, many do not excel in communication.

We would then see how many people are lacking in such basic skills. (i.e. reading, writing, speaking publicly)

As great as technology can be, it can also be overwhelming .

Too much technology has allowed many people to get away with not learning simple skills that we were taught in elementary school .

I like your last sentence! You made some good points here!


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