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IELTS 1: The changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent for housework.

Jori 1 / -  
Aug 10, 2022   #1

statistics of the household machines in use

The line graphs show the proportion of household machines usage and the sum of time used to do household chores from 1920 to 2019.
Overall, the need for refrigerators and vacuum cleaners rose dramatically over a century, while washing machine usage showed a light change. Meanwhile, the amount of time spent doing housework showed a decrease.

In 1920, almost no one used refrigerators, while the percentage of vacuum cleaner and washing machine usage was 30% and 40% respectively. In 2019, the use of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners went up and reached 100%. In the meantime, the use of washing machines was less, just about 75% in 2019.

Looking at the time spent doing housework, in 1920, it took up to 50 hours per week to do household chores. However, the number of hours used for doing this stuff decreased, just 20 hours. From 1960 to 2019, the number slightly declined, then was about 10 hours per week in 2019.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,941 4806  
Aug 11, 2022   #2
The summary as presented by the writer makes it appear that there is one image representing 2 measurement types by using the plural form of graph (the line graphs). Since there are 2 images provided which depict different but related information, he should have indicated the number of graphs prior to the image titles. That way the reader would be clear regarding the number of images and how these will be used to represent information within the report.

As far as trending paragraphs go, the presentation is not fully balanced. For each upward trend, the downward trend should be represented. So, while the machine usage presented balanced information, the time used for work did not do the same. It should have followed the preceding format for information clarity.

Consider writing at least 175 words in the next practice task. Writing just a little over 150 words does not really help meet the maximum scoring considerations for the overall rubic. Do not overwrite, but do not underwrite either.
wjc74751 2 / 2  
Aug 16, 2022   #3
I think there should be a short introduction in the second paragraph.

Besides, there is no change trend like increasing slowly or declining swiftly.

Hope you get a good grade!

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: The changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent for housework.
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