Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


[TASK 1] Changes planned for a town center.


phuongsongao 3 / 5  
Sep 9, 2017   #1

the town center will witness a few more improvements



Question: The maps below shows the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its developments

Answer:

The diagrams illustrates some changes planned for the center of a place named Islip.

It is clear that the town center will undergo significant renovations and five new features can be seen in the second diagram. The main developments are that people living in Islip's town center will benefit from more infrastructure and the transport will be more convenient.

Looking at the maps in more detail, we can see that the shops in the north of the area are expected to be knocked down to make room for several new buildings including a bus station, a shopping center and a car park. Other physical features that will be added to the place are two housing complexes. One is anticipated to be built near the car park in the north-eastern area. The other will be constructed near the park which will be considerably narrowed.

As well as the new developments mentioned above, the town center will witness a few more improvements. Specifically, the main road will serve pedestrians only. Besides, the residential area in the middle of Islip will be relocated to the south-west. Finally, the countryside will be erased to make way for a dual carriageway which will separate the area from the school and the accommodation infrastructure near it.

------------------
Please give comments based on 4 marking criteria. Thanks!



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Sep 9, 2017   #2
Phuong, this is a compare and contrast reporting essay. Therefore, the essay should have come in with 4 paragraphs at the most using the following outline:

1. Outline summary that includes the instructions for the discussion based upon the provided image and the trend that exists within the two diagrams.
2. Description of image 1
3. Description of image 2
4. Comparison analysis

When you are dealing with 2 images, always make sure to indicate which image you are referring to in the paragraph. You can say something as simple as "In the first image..." or "The top image..." to indicate the position of the image that you are writing about. This will also help the reader to keep track of the discussion you are presenting. If there are similar points to be found in the image, save that for the last part of the discussion so that you can create a more interesting and informative presentation for the reader.

In general, the score for this essay will be 4, regardless of the criteria. That is because you did not accurately summarize the report, there are inconsistencies in your reporting as you do not identify the illustrations you are discussing, and your sentences are simple enough to be understood, but not really complex enough to show off an advanced English writing skill.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TASK 1] Changes planned for a town center.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳