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'Chanhe makes our lives better' - SAT test



sharon1012 1 / -  
Feb 6, 2012   #1
Assignment : Chanhe makes our lives better

It has been argued among many people whether changes make our lives more convenient. Some people agree with that changes do not necessarily better. Even though, in the novel 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell, animals attempt to change their lives to more autonomous, convenient and working for themselves, nor for human beings, they obey to their boss, Napoleon, and work a lot as they used to. However, it is lucid that changes contribute our lives easier. This essay will aim and discuss about aspects of thesis with examples: changes in medical technology, and changes in cellular phone.

Change is a sure route to have easier life. The change in medical technology is one of the best examples of changes make our lives better. Medical technology has been changed a lot; this gives us more convenient and better lives. For example, in the past, it took long time to get health result and it was hard to know in detail. Sometimes they could not find out diseases. Now, however, it does not take long time to examine and get result. Also, surgery time is getting shorter since medical technology has been developed. Changes in medical technology give us easier and better lives because they help us not to waste of our time to get health examination and to have healthier lives.

The example of changes in cellular phone lucidly shows that changes give us more expedient lives.
The cellular phone was invented 1970ths. The first phone was only able to contact others, no SMS. However, since it has been developing, cell phone has more ways in which contact others such as video call, SMS. And now, we are able to watch TV, listen to music, take a photo, and search the internet with a cell phone. Changes in cell phone give us easier lives. For example, we are not lost on street to find any shop since we can use GPS function in the phone. Also, we do not need to go places where there are computers since we can search the internet with smart phone. As there are more changes in cellular phone, we can do more things that give us easier ways.

Change is sometimes seen as irritating and uncomfortable since we need to get used to new things. However, as the examples of changes in medical technology and in cellular phone, changes afford us better and more expedient lives.

mish1493 2 / 4  
Feb 6, 2012   #2
I would chnage the second line it doesn't make sense. then your thesis statement don't stay this essay will aim say something like "changes in medical technology and in cellular phones enchance our daily lives to a great potential." never state " this essay will say".. ect.
trina_ch93 2 / 2  
Feb 6, 2012   #3
Some people undefinedbelieve that changes do not necessarily better.

Even though, in the novel 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell, animals attempt to change their lives to more autonomous, convenient and working for themselves, nor for human beings, they obey to their boss, Napoleon, and work a lot as they used to. -this is a run on sentence, too many unnecessary commas.

change it to this

Even though the animals from George Orwell's novel 'Animal Farm' attempt to change their lives to a more autonomous and convenient lifestyle for themselves, they obey their boss Napoleon, and continue to work as they used to. (I don't understand what you meant by "nor for the human beings"?)
Athena - / 82  
Feb 7, 2012   #4
Hi Kim,

Just a couple of things...

The cellular phone was invented 1970ths.

Write a line on how change has affected u :)

Good luck on your SATs!
roopali 1 / 2  
Feb 7, 2012   #5
For example, in the past, it took long time to get health result and it was hard to know in details. Sometimes they could not find out diseases. However, now it does not take long time to examine and get result.


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