please could you assist me correcting my essays.Thanks a lot.
Some people believe that charitable organizations should give aid to people in greatest need, regardless of their location. Some others think that charitable organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own countries. Disscuss both these view and give your opinion.
Recently there is a fierce disputation about wheather charitable organizations should help people regardless their location, and it has created a wide range of concerns from society as a whole.
Some people believe that a complete charity as growing investments and attentions from all classes is able to give greatest aid to people from everywhere. People should be treated fairly without any attached conditions such as nationality and social level. In addition, there is a common phenomenon that different areas have demands of helping differently. For instance, people who live in some poor countries only receive much less supports from local low-level charitable organizations. Others with relatively more fortune lived in good living environment, however, enjoy abundant aid works sometimes more than they need.
There are lots of people argue that charitable organizations should concentrate on helplng their domestic people. First, it would be a huge expenses and reducing their aid resources as non-profits charities in terms of capital、volunteer work and donated property, if they help people everywhere. Second, over distributed helping lower the aid work's quality and management of a large-scale charity. Organizers are probably distributed attention form various range of aid assignments, thereby are interfered on their dicision-making and working arrangement. Third, there are lots of limit for non-registered charities. For example, They are not allowed to receive donation from personal income tax deduction, which means they have less ability to give internationally although most of them do want.
As far as I'm concerned, charitable organizations should help people globally as possible as they could. Organizers could through the cooperation of international organizations and use of operational and financial resources to help improve the quality of life of our earth better and more efficiently. Moreover, global rescue would be a perfect opportunity to strengthen the international friendship and demonstrate local national economic muscle.
There has been* instead of there is
whether
regardless of their location
You should make the first sentence in the second paragraph a little more clear. Suggestion: Some people believe that charitable organizations should give aid to people from all around the world.(Something like that)
Instead of there are lots of people: Many people argue that organizations should focus on more domestic issues.
It should be a huge expense*
For the last paragraph: As far as I'm concerned, charitable organizations should serve globally as best as possible.
You have really good points, but I think you just need to be a little more specific and fix the way you say things
