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From the chart: Native Australia experienced the largest number entering Movie Theater at 70%



Desty22 13 / 19  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
The chart witnessed some places that visited by various people who live in Australia. Overall, it can be seen that, cinema showed the highest percentage among theatre, library and zoo.

Native Australia experienced the largest number entering Movie Theater at 70%, while new immigrants born in English-speaking countries saw five percent lower than it. Then the last placed by new immigrants born in the other countries a half the same category. In library, new migrants born in other countries reached the top number at 55%, then followed by new immigrants born in English-speaking countries (40%) and new migrants born in English speaking countries was a slice below it.

New migrants born in English-speaking countries surprisingly placed the best rank in visiting zoo (50%); however born in Australia in second range forty one percent then the rest type was only thirty five percent. Another category was theater which had minimum percentage almost in the various type of persons. New migrants in English-speaking countries stood at a half of fifty, then followed by other categories below it.


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justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 4, 2016   #2
Hi Desty, kindly find a few corrections below.

- places that were visited
- amongst theatre,

- Native Australians experienced
- the largest number of people entering
- the Movie
- than itbefore .

- Then the last placed by new immigrants born in the other countries a half the same category.( this statement needs to be rephrased, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this )

- In library, new migrants born in other countries reached the top number at 55%, then followed ...The Library is dominated by new migrants reaching the top at 55%, followed by visitors coming from English speaking countries at 40%.

Desty, I left the last paragraph for you to practice on editing the analysis yourself, I must say, there are still a lot of work to be done in your essay. You have the idea, however, you had a hard time expressing yourself in English specially in providing analysis of the given data.


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