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IELTS Task 1: The chart below shows male and female fitness membership (20 minutes)



tiaDS 73 / 222  
Feb 3, 2014   #1
The chart below shows male and female fitness membership between 1970 and 2000

The bar chart reveals the number of fitness club members during 30 years, from 1970 to 2000.

Overall, there are two categories of fitness membership; women and men. Based on the bar chart can be seen that fluctuate number of members between female and male.

First of all, from 1970 to 1975 both categories started from approximately 1000 to over 2000 and the number of members inclined dramatically, with about 2000 women members and doubled number of men members with 4000. Moreover, in the 1980 both categories were a slightly decline and the number of men decreased almost a half of number before, while in the 1985 the number of women who joined the fitness center rose, with over 2500.

As seen, while the number of women fell to 2100 people, the number of men increased to over 2000. In the 1995 the amount of men who attended in the fitness club sat a peak with 5000 people. What is more, in the 2000 there was a slight down over 4 times than period before.


  • Fitness_memebership..png


dumi 1 / 6795  
Feb 4, 2014   #2
The bar chart reveals the number of fitness club members during 30 years, from 1970 to 2000.

This is a very good introduction, but you should have mentioned about the gender case here as they are the most important parameters in this bar chart;

The bar chart reveals information about the fitness membership of females and males from 1970 to 2000.

Overall, there are two categories of fitness membership; women and men.

This is not a trend. These are basic parameters. Here you need to discuss about some major trend or observation, but without details. For example;

Overall, more fluctuations of male membership can be observed during the period under review compared to fluctuations of female membership .
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 4, 2014   #3
Hi tiaDS

women members

and

men members

women and men here should be singular

Based on the bar chart can be seen that fluctuate number of members between female and male.

this is not a sentence. You miss a subject.

from 1970 to 1975 both categories started from approximately 1000 to over 2000 and the number of members inclined dramatically, with about 2000 women members and doubled number of men members with 4000.

Too long. It would be nice if you break it down into two sentences.

Thanks.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The chart below shows male and female fitness membership (20 minutes)
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