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IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during...


Dang Gia Bao 1 / -  
Mar 14, 2024   #1
REQUIREMENT:REQUIREMENT: The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors who satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
____________

The table illustrates how many people travelled to Ashdown Museum before and after its refurbishment. The pie charts indicate the percentage of travellers who felt satisfied and dissatisfied in various levels.

Overall, the museum attracted more visitors after being maintained. While the transformation made the proportion of satisfied travellers increase, there were still a small percentage of people who had no idea regarding the institution service.

There were 74,000 people visited Ashdown Museum in the year before refurbishment, with a subsequent growth to 92,000 visitors after maintaining.
According to the survey, 15% of people who went to the museum before refurbishing felt very satisfied about the place, after which it experienced a significant rise to 35%, thanks to the good fixing. Similar change can be seen in the figure for those who felt satisfied, with 30% and 40%, respectively. Conversely, most visitors felt dissatisfied when they went to Ashdown Museum before its maintenance (40%), but the number decreased dramatically to 15% after the positive changes. While the share of very dissatisfied traveller halved to 5% after the museum refurbishment, the figure for people who had no response remained stable with 5%.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780  
Mar 20, 2024   #2
The summary overview is not restated enough in the words of the writer to not be considered a cut and paste of the original explanation. Ensure the use of a totally new statement of the topic or, using the correct alternative words in the new presentation to avoid an automatic failing score due to plagiarism considerations.

The discussion is too mixed and difficult to follow. You should have one paragraph for the previous phase of the museum and then a separate one for the improvement situation. It is not easy to follow the changes that were made and how it affected the visitor count in this presentation. Do not overwhelm the paragraph with information as it affects the clarity of the discussion.


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