The chart shows vast difference in the level of skilled vocational diploma

The given chart illustrates the ratio of men and women who held the different sorts of post-school certificates in Australia in 1999.

Firstly, there were a vast difference in the level of skilled vocational diploma that females held only 10% qualifications while males had 90% documents. however, the ratio of men and women were almost equal in bachelors degree which 51% and 52% respectively.

Secondly, females enjoyed better passed percentage than males in the undergraduate diploma .In this section females prevailed 72 % whereas boys only peak at 38%.Additionaly, the figure of females in undergraduate diploma were the highest among other levels in Australia in 1999. Moreover, the levels of women were dramatically declined to 32% but the men had registered 70% in the postgraduate diploma.Followed by the master degree where males slightly dominent over females by 60% and 40% repectively.

In conclusion, females had dominent over men in the undergraduate diploma whereas males held more certificates than females in the postgraduate diploma.[/b]

There is no picture for the graph, so it is difficult to give advices...

and you should never use "In conclusion" in writing task 1... it seems to be not suitable. "Overall" or " As can be seen from the graph" would be better.

anyways, writing task 1 essay needs at least 150 words , while your essay has only 141 words.

Hope you find the comments useful :)

oh so sorry that i've made a mistake about the number of words in your essay... it is 163 words, not 141 :)

i checked some...

Firstly, there was a vast difference in the level of skilled...

In this section females prevailed 72 % whereas boys only peak[/i] at 38%... "peak" means "at the top", but the rate of undergraduate diploma is only 38%, which is smaller than the figure for bachelors ( of course with the boys )

where males slightly [i]dominant

thank you for suggestion
How much score do i get in this section?

here's the graph

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.... hey ... there's nothing at all .... give another try using "Attach file(s)" tool in the Message block.


This seems to be a good introduction. But without seeing the graph I cannot validate what you've written in it :D


.... Before this, write an Overview which gives an overall idea about the graph. It should speak about the main trends, but very briefly and without the details. Don't have details like percentages and other data in an Overview.

here's the graph
plz check my ans i need your suggestion

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  here's the graph