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Task 1 (Pie Chart) About the highest level of education achieved by people over 21 in 2 countries.


Adrena1998 1 / -  
Mar 12, 2024   #1
The pie chart depicts the level of education reached by adults in 2 different countries

Overall, it is clear that adults in both countries A and B got 4 distinct educational levels, such as University, vocational/technology school, no schooling, primary and secondary school. The levels of education achieved were various for each country.

In country A, most adults had at least several schooling. Only five percent of the mature people had not gone to school at all, and merely 15 of the adults stopped studying at primary school. The biggest piece in the pie chart of country A is the section of people who ended their studies at secondary school, at 45%. Followed by, thirty percent of adults who completed vocational/technology school. A tiny part of the population, 5%, got university degrees.

In country B, more grown people got higher educational levels than that in country A. Five percent had no schooling. Another five percent of adults discontinued their studies after the primary. There was 35% of people over the age of 21 quitted studying at secondary. The figure for vocational/technology institutions was 30%. The proportion of people who graduated from university accounted for a quarter of the pie chart, which was higher than that in country A. ]

Please revise my essay! Thanks !!!
How many points do I get according to the IELTS Criteria?



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,787 4778  
Mar 20, 2024   #2
Your summary overview is inaccurate. You are not properly identifying the components of the image. There are 2 pie charts. Indicate the same and identify how each chart is tagged or titled in reference to the report you will be analyzing. That part of the presentation should have at least 2 sentences to meet the minimum score consideration requirements.

The most serious flaw in this presentation is that you did not indicate that the basis of all information was based upon adults aged 21 and above. The reader is expecting the writer to provide complete information in the presentation for them to fully understand what the report is all about. Without the age reference, you were not able to provide a coherent and cohesive essay. This may not receive a passing score due to deductions in the C+C and GRA sections, which relate to the age reference.


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