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IELTS T1 The charts below show the banana export in 1993 and 2003, the pie chart reports costs

Dolly Doloris 1 / 2  
Jul 31, 2020   #1

Banana export and it's cost

Hello, it's my first using this amazing website.Can you please read my essay and comment? Thank you so much.

The charts below show the banana export in 1993 and 2003, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each banana in 2003.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart compares the changes of the amount of bananas were exported from three regions within a 10-year period, meanwhile the pie chart demonstrates the proportion of how much each procedures cost from the total price of one banana in 2003.

It is clear that Latin America made the most remarkable enhancement in banana export,in comparison the improvement of banana export made by Africa and Far East was less significant. Also the cost on distribution and retail was the highest among others.

In the bar chart, Latin America had the highest number of banana export in 1993,at around 4.5 million, followed by a sharp increase, as a result there were over 10 million metric tonnes of bananas exported. Africa was the region with least amount of banana exported in 1993,at approximately 0.5 million,its number jumped to 1 million in 10 years.There were little increase in Far East's banana export,the figures were under 2 million throughout the period.

In the pie chart,distribution and retail account for one thirds of overall cost, at 35%, while the export cost was the lowest,only 4%. In addition, the percentage of the source of the banana was surprisingly the second lowest,at merely 5%. International transport, import licenses and taxes summed up for almost two fifths of entire cost. Finally,18% of the money was left as profit.

hyperephania 10 / 27  
Aug 1, 2020   #2
To the best of my knowledge, IELTS Writing Task 1 only tolerates 150, and a maximum of 165 words. Since your writing is 262 words long, I believe it has violated the Words Count Rule. If I were you, I would combine the second, third, and fourth paragraph into an one-sentence paragraph. Good luck!
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,025 2715  
Aug 1, 2020   #3
The main problem of your essay is not the content. You did well in the reporting aspect. The problem is in the way that you worded your report. There is a 20 minute time limit on this essay test. Which means, the word count should not be more than 150 - 190 words. In sentence form that would be between 12-15 sentences per paragraph, following the more appropriate 3 paragraph format.

For your summary overview, you need to complete the related information per image prior to your 2 trending statements, one for each image. So you need to consolidate your information summary to include measurement types for both, and the breakdown of the listing as indicated by the graphs. Only after that information is presented should you indicate the trending statement for each image. For this essay, you should focus on the cohesiveness and coherence of your presentation. That is achieved by using just the right number of words per paragraph to describe the information. Be straight in your reporting, You do not need to be too wordy as you would in a task 2 essay. Look for comparison points, report on those. Otherwise, just deliver a combined report for each image so that you do not go overboard with your word count, which will make you miss the deadline for the completion of this essay.

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