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The charts show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in Nothern Ireland



Chow 1 / 3  
Jul 12, 2021   #1

data on investing in music



The pie charts illustrate the changes in investing money in Northern Ireland with regard to music over three years 2005, 2008, 2011.

In common, CDs became the most sought-after things that were expenditure. Otherwise, the miniature factor through the period was labeled "other".

As can be seen at the first set of data, CD sales accounted for slightly more than three-fifth. Nonetheless, the proportion plunged remarkably for a fifth in the following three years. Then, it reached a bottom at 26% in 2011.

In contract, the beginning of downloaded music was only 6%. Three years later, digital purchase leaped dramatically, which raised to 25%. By 2011, it had overtaken both concerts and CDs, accounted for more than two-fifths of all sales. On the other hand, the "other" category went up marginally from 2% to 3%. As is shown in the charts, the money disbursed on concerts oscillate moderately.

Just more than a third at the first set, it started to fall slightly over three years. Eventually, the concert sales increased at 28% in 2011.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15218  
Jul 13, 2021   #2
The writer failed to indicate the number of pie charts included and how these pie charts were identified. Why is the number of images required? Remember that several years can be measured in a single pie chart. If the information is measured over years within several pie charts, then that should be made clear to the reader. That is why the number of images and how it is divided within each pie is important to the summary.

plunged

The mid-measurement unit should be indicated to show the proper flow of decrease.

In contract

Word usage error. This should state, " In contrast" to show a comparison between data indicators.

The task 1 essay cannot have more than 4 paragraphs. The concert reference should have been better integrated into the previous paragraphs to suit the formatting requirements. There was no reason to seperate the last 2 sentences if proper formatting was applied.
OP Chow 1 / 3  
Jul 13, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thanks for your feedback. Well I dont really understand when you said "failed to indicate the number of pie charts included". Can you make it more clearly for me please?


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