Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Check my essay about alcohol abuse. its problems and solutions


minhhhhhhhh 1 / -  
Jun 9, 2022   #1

Alcohol abuse is becoming more and more common nowadays in many countries.


What are some of the problems associated with alcohol abuse? And what are some possible solutions?

In this day and age, alcohol abuse is becoming increasingly prevalent in a lot of nations. This essay will discuss both the consequences caused by excessive alcohol consumption and many measures to tackle this problem

It is undeniable that alcohol dependence causes a number of negative impacts. Firstly, if people drink excessively frequently, the possibility is that they will suffer from alcohol-related mental disorders. Compared to those who rarely consume liquor, the alcoholics have unstable mental health. Despite the relaxing feeling the drinkers get after drinking, in the long run, alcohol can contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety, which decrease their life quality. Secondly, since numerous drunken people try to drive home after knocking off, they can cause serious traffic accidents, resulting in a rapid increase in the number of deaths due to excessive drinking reported every year. For instance, according to WHO, 40% of road crashes in Viet Nam are linked to overdrinking, which is an alarming rate for a developing country.

Governments now should take steps to address this problem. The most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could be warned of the dangers of alcohol abuse and the numerous benefits of a healthy lifestyle, and hopefully, raise awareness amongst the public. For example, the UK recently lobbied their citizens to shed some pounds every week by joining outdoor activities and this resulted in fewer people gathering at beer bars. Moreover, the government should inflate the tax on alcoholic drinks in order to discourage people from buying and consuming them. In many countries, alcoholic beverages are very affordable due to the low taxes, which leads the liquor to be widely accessible.

In conclusion, excessive intake of alcohol causes lots of detrimental effects on not only our mental health but also our physical health. However, it can be addressed thanks to the collaboration between the government and members of the community.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,856 4178  
Jun 9, 2022   #2
The writers opinion in missing from the opening statement. It is important that he offers single sentence responses for each question asked as a part of the prompt restatement. Without the direct responses, his immediate opinion as required by the preliminary task accuracy score will be insufficient as he will have failed to depict his opinion and its basis. The essay could fall short of a preliminary passing score.

Avoid consistently repeating the discussion questions. Provide direct topic responses as paragraph anchors instead. Repeating instructions does nothing for scoring considerations. Do not use slang terms such as

knocking off

either because this is an academic opinion paper. As such, everyday academic words should be used. Slang should only be used during informal writing.

The discussion paragraphs are quite well developed. These are informative and well supported It is too bad that the reverse paraphrase conclusion was not as well presented to the reader.
hoangtran 2 / 4  
Jun 10, 2022   #3
You can use "in accordance of" instead of "according to"
Axis0019 3 / 6 1  
Jun 11, 2022   #4
"This essay will discuss both the consequences ..."

A better these statement in my opinion

This essay will point out that mental disorders and road accidents are the main problems associated with alcohol abuse and will also suggest that awareness campaigns and taxes are the best methods of curbing it.


Home / Writing Feedback / Check my essay about alcohol abuse. its problems and solutions