Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


【IELTS】Childcare is an important task for nations.



jamliu0229 9 / 24  
Nov 18, 2011   #1
Please help me to check it. Thank you!

Childcare is an important task for nations. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, childcare plays a significant role in our families and even our country. How to become knowledgeable mothers and fathers is fairly concerned by expectant mothers and fathers. From my perspective, I completely agree that parents-to-be had better learn some knowledge from childcare courses.

It is advisable that would-be mothers and fathers attend some childcare training classes. Firstly, some young mothers have no knowledge about how to care about their babies, which would lead some negative influences on their young children, such as illness, innutrition or injury. In addition, many parents have no good skills to teach their young children. To be more exact, some of them have little patient on teaching repeatedly. It is necessary to be educated through childcare training courses for these parents. Finally, fathers can know how heavy it is to take care of children for mothers after being childcare education. Therefore, it will promote families amity at some extent.

However, if childcare classes are compulsory to every would-be parent, it will put more stress on them. For example, there are many worked mothers having little time on children care, so it is not reasonable to compel them to attend extra childcare classes. Moreover, many young mothers can acquire childcare knowledge through other ways. For instance, surf the Internet, inquire their parents or listen to radios.

In summary, I do approve of learning childcare to mothers and fathers, but I think it would be optional to them. All of these would-be mothers should have knowledge about childcare, but not only just limit them attend courses. Training classes should be selective and practical.

iii_atsied 1 / 2  
Nov 18, 2011   #2
you need revise some sentences and used other terms for some word in your essay

like for example: fathers and mothers - parents
childcare training - organization/program/institution
dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 18, 2011   #3
Nowadays, childcare plays a significant role in our families and evenespecially in our country. How to become knowledgeable mothers and fathers is fairly concerned byhas become a concern of expectant mothers and fathers. From my perspective, I completelyfully agree that parents-to-be had better learngainsome knowledge from childcare courses.


Home / Writing Feedback / 【IELTS】Childcare is an important task for nations.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳