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The children should be allowed to have smart phones along with maintaining some restrictions - TOEFL



TechRinser 3 / 4  
Dec 19, 2015   #1
Some parents forbid young children from owning smartphones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?

Nowadays, smart phones are very common among the young children. Still many parents believe that smart phones are not doing any good to their children and don't allow them to use. I believe the every aspect of society should be benefited by the technological advancement we have in this century. So, the children should be allowed to have smart phones along with maintaining some restrictions.

The major problem faced by the parents for allowing the young children to use smart phones is addiction towards such devices. These days young children are often seen looking at the smart phone's screen rather than enjoying the life with other activities. Due to this there may be possibility of less focus on studies and they tend to get lost in the internet world. For example: One of friends' brother used to have good grades in school. But later he became so addicted to social networking sites that he failed in high school. That was all because of improper and unmanaged use of internet. Even if we take a look at the famous person, Steve Jobs, who invented the phones with internet (iPhones), it didn't allow his children to use such devices. It may be inferred that he feared similar incidents would come up.

On the other hand, smart phones are basic essential thing required for proper functioning of this world. It makes every easy to communicate with people and keep in touch with each other. For example: When parents are out for dinner or gone to visit relatives, with a simple click of a button they can communicate with their young children at home and get to know about the situations.

To conclude, despite being important tools in human life, there are some disadvantages of smart phones that should be taken care of before allowing children to use them. I believe young children should be allowed to use such devices with proper restrictions and parental guidance. Parents should monitor the internet usage pattern of child, give suggestions and also inform them about the misuse of internet.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Mar 20, 2017   #2
Rajeeb, you cannot discuss this essay by staying in the middle or taking the "up to a certain degree" point of view because the essay clearly asks you to pick a side and defend it. Due to your lack of choosing a side to discuss and support, you changed the whole message of the essay and misdirected the discussion of the prompt requirements. These errors show that you did not understand the instructions you were given and thus, resulted in a score of 2. The main reason, is that you did not properly discuss the point of the essay which is that children having a cellphone is important because it allows them to stay in touch. Instead, you chose to discuss "children should be allowed to have smart phones along with maintaining some restrictions.", which is nowhere near the prompt discussion requirements. If you had removed the "maintaining some restrictions" part, then the essay might have been more prompt responsive.


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