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Children should be banned from using their phones during the school day or not. Both views & yours



linh2806 1 / -  
Dec 26, 2023   #1
It is argued that juveniles ought to be forbidden or allowed to use their cell phones during school time. While phones can cause distraction to children, I agree that minors should be free to access their smartphones because it can help them a lot. In this essay, ideas and thoughts, as well as relevant examples, will be mentioned to explore both perspectives and provide reasons to support my opinion.

On the one hand, some children using phones at school could lose focus on studying. Phones have been developed and had many entertain applications or websites. Therefore, if students are banned from using those electrical devices, they would pay more attention to their lessons at school. To illustrate my view, some minors not banned from bringing cell phones to classes could play games or social media websites and overlook their lessons.

On the other hand, phones mostly can help students learn effectively. Many cell phones and other technological devices can access to unlimited studying resources in a second, so those devices definitely are convenient and save juveniles' time. For example, with a click of a button, children can have numerous documents related to their subjects or lessons in order to learn better.

In conclusion, if adults or school teachers ban their children or students from using phones during school lessons, those minors could have a higher possibility of distracting from studying. However, I believe the contrast perspective for the reason that students can use phones or electrical devices due to not only the ability of having significant quantity of resources but also time-saving.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Dec 27, 2023   #2
In ...support my opinion.

This is a totally unnecessary part of your presentation. You will not gain extra scores by repeating the writing instructions or explaining how you will be responding to the prompt. You will get scores based upon 3 sentence requirements only:

1. A complete restatement of the first public opinion
2. A complete restatement of the second public opinion
3. A complete statement of your personal opinion + your thesis statement

Your failure to clearly achieve these task requirements in the first paragraph means you will not be achieving a passing preliminary TA score. The essay itself is going to be scored as an incompletely developed presentation because there are no public opinion presentations, only personal opinion insights. There is no clear comparison between the public and your personal opinion. The essay will receive a failing score.
Norbsidy 5 / 10  
Jan 11, 2024   #3
I believe the prompt want you to state your personal opinion on the matter and reasons for you support which is not clearly stated. You need examples to elaborate your points.

Secondly, look out for some errors in punctuations, commas, subject-verb agreement. Example you wrote:- Phones have been developed and had many entertain applications or websites.

I would write it this way: Phones have been developed and HAVE many ENTERTAINMENT applications or websites

Good luck.


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