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Children are very familiar with their electronic 'toys'


Adhanice 1 / 3  
May 11, 2017   #1
Writing task 2 : Nowadays, parents often let their children play a lot with computers, and tablets in order to improving their technological skills. Do the advantages of the the use of these devices from an early age outweigh the disadvantages?

positive and negative sides of gadgets boom among kids



In this digital era, parents believe that is more favorable to introducing the advance of technology for their children. Therefore, they are permitting their children to spend much time by playing gadgets as such computers and tablets to improve their tecnological skills which are very substantial in professional life. Analizing of this, i believe that the beneficial of conducting this rule is overwhelmingly than the detrimental effect, which are both will be written in this essay.

The principal reason to starts kids off with learning sophisticated technology by gadgets is that this increases their ability on technology. In this era, it is undeniable that world work alarmingly the requirement of technological skills, that is why parents lead their children to improving their skills by using these devices. They thaught ought to preparing their children on professional life by practicing on gadgets. Let's take an example, children who used to playing laptops and computers have the higher proficiency on technology and they are becoming acceptable on professional work in their future life. Thus, these make it clear that permitting children to spend time on playing gadgets bring the advantages.

Despite of the merits, we cannot deny that letting the children to spend much time by playing gadgets bring the drawback. Rather than improving their skills, they are becoming addicted to several features on their gadgets, to playing game, connecting to social media are for the examples. Relate to this, they have to managing their time as well as to improving their technological skills to avoid this demerit.

Clearly, there are the positive effect of recognizing several devices for children which are outweight the negative impacts, whereas as can be avoiding with

FatmaFaricha 1 / 2  
May 11, 2017   #2
please make the differences between your thesis statement and outline
you have to pay more attention in your spelling dear, analizing or analyzing?
it will be better if you write 'to improve their skill' (to + V1)
Irmadesyre 2 / 4  
May 11, 2017   #3
can be avoiding with : please pay attention with punctuation.
moh_jawahir - / 7 1  
May 11, 2017   #4
Hi Miss Adhanice,
your writing is overall good. Yet, let me give you some suggestions

parents believe that is more (why is your verb "is"? where is your subject?) favorable to introducing

to spend much time by on playing

is overwhelmingly than the detrimental effect

= learn more regarding to comparison

the detrimental effect, which (this "which" refers to what?) are both will be written in this essay.

that this increases their ability on on technology

that world work alarmingly the requirement ...

= pay more attention on your subject verb agreement

They thaught ought to preparing ????? their children on ...
Let's (no need to use construction since this is an academic writing) take an example, .

... playing gadgets bring (where is the subject of this verb) the drawback

they have to (this is similar modal of must, so as that this needs a bare infinitive verb after this modal) managing their time ...

there are the positive (...) for children which who are outweight (see spelling) the negative impacts...

keep cheers,
hope this helps,
many thanks

Moh. Jawahir


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