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Writing Feedback Posts: 3

Children's free time must include educational activities


Jas8086 1 / -  
Mar 8, 2019   #1

Why kids should be productive with their time?



Some people think that children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time.
What is your opinion?


People think that children have to do study in their spare time for their time will not wasted.
While I believe that they should study in their lesuire, They should attend some sport courses.

Children must study in their free time, but not only study, they should attend some of sports. Learning also useful for the future.
It helps to find their future way. And sport helps to keep physical fit and also children must get relax in their free time. This is also helps to them for knowledge.

On the other hand, they can only be busy with sports. For example, football, box and many type of national sports. Becouse, nowadays many sporters take any kind of presents for their games. And actually they even get houses, cars and also money. It can be career for their future.

In my opinion, children spend their lesuire with attend one of the sport and study what they want.
crystlho 5 / 12 2  
Mar 9, 2019   #2
Dear Jas,
This is a writing task 2 that needs at least 250 words. You did present your point but have not supported it well. Please support your points with more explanations and examples.

You also made alot of spelling and grammar mistakes such as for "..." (this should be "will not bewasted"), "Thisis also helps" (you should use is or helps not both),Becouse. These can be easily corrected by spelling check in Winword.

Please correct these. Happy writing!
Holt - / 7,651 1998  
Mar 9, 2019   #3
Jasur, the direct question essay must be discussed from a single point of view. Not a comparative point of view. Note that the prompt is asking "What is your opinion" not "What are your opinions", which would be the plural form of opinion which would have allowed you to discuss the essay from multiple points of view. As such, the essay will fail not only because of the lacking word requirement, but because you showed an inability to address the task achievement requirements for the discussion. It is always important to discuss the essay based on the expected discussion slant. All Task 2 essays are written from singular points of view unless otherwise stated. The idea is to be able to fully explain your opinion regarding a topic throughout the 4-5 paragraph essay. It is easier to defend a single point of view rather than multiple points of view. You don't have to waste time thinking of 2 discussion modes in a direct question / opinion essay. You can better improve your scores when you focus on only one topic for discussion. In this instance, it is clear that you are preparing for the test without guidance. So you should review the various samples available at this forum to learn from and help guide the development of your Task 2 writing skills.



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