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Children in some kinds of paid work - this is one of the controversial issues. IELTS WRITING TASK 2


La Baso 15 / 22  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
One of debatable issues that some nations face is getting involved children in some kinds of paid work. Although some citizens argue the case can hamper their young growth period such as exploring their imaginations, other state it has some benefits which I believe this can increase their work skills.

Since children are engaged in the paid work, people believe it is really unfair for them. The possible reason is that children have no many times to explore their imaginations which are very crucial to their young period. According to the psychologist, the children who has limited their imaginations period are being less creative. Hence, due to this reason, children experience unfair position.

However, I do not believe the argument stands up to scrutiny. The first reason is that the children get many experiences in work place. This day, it is really crucial to have work experience due to the rising of employee competition. Taking ASEAN as an example, due to ASEAN Economic Community system, the societies should have high qualification skill. Hence, children who has good work experiences and good work-skills will compete easily. Not only this, due to work demands, besides children learn how to earn money, they are also more discipline and independent. In the result of this, the benefits of this issue should be adjusted to increase children work skills.

To sum up, it is evident that although engaging youngest in work paid that will limit their imagination time, its benefits make them more realize about "cross work understanding". Therefore, I would suggest that parents should encourage their children for joining in the paid work.

Anaguna 21 / 27 5  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
According to the psychologist, the children who has limited their imaginations ...
"the children who have limited their imaginations period are being less creative"
Hence, children who has good work experiences and good ...
" the children who have good work experiences and work skills will compete easily.
(Remember children = plural, so it need "have" not "has")
Masfufah 10 / 12  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
One of debatable issues that some nations face is getting involvedchildren in some kinds of paid work .
... which I believe THAT this can increase their work skills.

Since children are engaged in the paid workTRY TO PARAPHRASE, DO NOT USE SAME SENTENCES, people believe it is really unfair for them. The possible reason is that children have no many timesTIME to explore their imaginations which are ... PLEASE GIVE EXAMPLE

main Idea
supporting Idea/explanation
example
result
conclution

these pattern above can be used for creating good body paragraph


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