IELTS task 2:children's lives were very different from today. the advantages and disadvantages

children's life was different in the past

In many parts of the world, children's lives were very different from today. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of life for children in the past?

The lives of childs in today's society are changing so much comparing in the past because the world has changed. In the past, there were both advantages and disadvantages of children's living standards.

There were a number of benefits of living in the past for the children. Firstly, they were probably happier than today because they had a simple life and they did not suffer stress from their parents for the scores in School. Secondly, they had more time with friends and families. They could learn life skills from their siblings when they played together. In addition, the kids exposed to the natural environment very soon therefore, they seemed to close to nature.

However, in my view, the children's lives in the past also had several important disadvantages. The living standard of the kids was affected by war and poverty. There were a lot of children who could not go to the school, which were the reason for illiteracy. They even did not have enough food so they had to work to earn money very soon. Child abuse situations were found in many companies in the past. The parents could not take care of each child and gave them the best living condition.

All in all, I believe that the disadvantages of children's lives in the past were greater than the advantages. The children's way of life in the past was happier but they were not always able to get big benefits from it because the world of children today has many differences.

Try to write a more creative prompt paraphrase. Aim to write 3 sentences in that section so that you can gain a better TA score. One way of writing the restatement in a creative manner is:

The world has continued to evolve and change the way that children have led their lives over time. There were definitely advantages and disadvantages of being a child during the past century. Advantages include more physical interaction among children during playtime, leading to well built friendships. However, a disadvantage to the physical playtime is that the children tended to unintentionally hurt one another when playing, which usually ended childhood friendships.

From that point, you could have gone on to use the 2 allotted reasoning paragraphs to discuss the singular advantage and disadvantage reasons. Hence creating a cohesive and coherent reasoning discussion. Outlining your discussion topics will allow you prepare the examiner for the upcoming topics, and also show that you plan to develop a connected discussion throughout the essay, which will be good for the C&C scoring portion.

Notice the advantage and disadvantage presentation I made in the outline. It is clear that 2 related advantages were to be discussed and 2 disadvantages, still related to the original advantages, were going to be the last of the discussion presentation. That is the proper format for the essay.

Good work on using the first person pronouns in the essay. You used just enough to improve your GRA score. Basically, your essay content would have been good if you had just created a more connected discussion between the 2 paragraphs. Your current presentation only gives reasons and ideas, but lacks in justification through a properly developed paragraph discussion. That, is the main weakness of the essay. You need to properly develop your presentations. Don't just keep presenting ideas, trying to pass those off as discussions. The examiner knows how to differentiate between a developed discussion and an idea presentation. You mostly did the latter in this essay.