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IELTS, Children should receive formal education from four years


homsai 11 / 24 5  
May 7, 2013   #1
Topic: In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either or these view?

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To some extent, I agree the view that children should attend the school at early age, even through some kids start their eduction life from seven or eight.

Obviously, the early education is beneficial to children's academic performance in future. One benefit is: it makes children feel confident. Imaging, there is a exam in primary school, which involved in some kids who are uneducated before. Then those pupils have been educated certainly have more confidence. Moreover, at primary school, the educated students are more likely to understand the theory of textbooks so that they are not suffering from poor understanding of relatively hard materials. In addition, the better results from early stage motivate the pupils to allocate more time in studying and be proud of studying, which ensures them receive a decent mark later on.

However, others start their school life from seven or eight because their parents believe that little children should not assume those burden and deserve a happy childhood. Admittedly, the schooling impose few psychological and mental pressure to the young children. It might make the childhood be tough and unpleasant to these pupils. The impact of childhood to a individual is vast, and it lasts through a whole life. Personality, for instance, is forming during individual's childhood. The bad experience of childhood might result in a negative and pessimistic person.

To sum up, I personally agree that children should receive formal education from four years old. However, to a four-year-old child, the life should be colorful and pain-free. Therefore, it is the schools' responsibility to establish a healthy education system that makes sure children are well educated but without too much burden.

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The topic came from one of posts I have viewed.

Always having trouble in wring, thanks for helping me out.

Special thanks to "Dumi" who corrects all essays for me.

mina_3006 1 / 3 1  
May 7, 2013   #2
I think proof reading the essay once more would be helpful. For e.g. the following sentence:
Imaging, there is a exam in primary school, which involved in some kids who are uneducated before.
Could be changed to

imagining, there is an exam in primary school, which involves some kids who were uneducated before.
This sounds a bit more composed.
Also, try using the same Tense throughout the paragraph
mina_3006 1 / 3 1  
May 7, 2013   #3
Just noticed something else too. Correct the following
Then those pupils who have been...

Motivate-motivates
Receive-receiving

The sentence 'that children should not assume the burden" is not very clear.
And your opening statement- place your point after you introduce your topic
dumi 1 / 6,948 1592  
May 7, 2013   #4
Special thanks to "Dumi" who corrects all essays for me.

... u r welcome ;)

To some extent, I agree the view that children should attend the school at early age, even through some kids start their eduction life from seven or eight.

... Here you straight away express your opinion on the argument. I wish you introduced your topic before you do this. You can get lots of help from the prompt for this opening line. However, don't copy it one to one, but express the same idea with different words;

In some countries, children start schooling from the age of four. However, in other countries they begin to receive formal education at the age of seven or eight.

Always make sure you maintain a good alignment with the topic :)


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