It is widely argued that the young in this day and age allocate a large amount of time for video games and lessen outdoor activities namely sports. There are two main reasons for these changes, and I believe that this trend is a negative development due to its influences on the young's long-term mental and physical well-being.
A range of factors are responsible for youngsters preferring playing virtual games to playing sports. One noticeable reason for this phenomenon is that advanced technology nowadays easily enables children to access a variety of mobile games on the internet with just some simple operations so they can download the games to their devices or even play them online. Those engaging and attractive ones are the causes that draw children to them. Moreover, due to socio-economic development, most parents have busy schedules, forgetting to spend time with their children on outdoor pursuits regularly. The depression after work makes them just want to stay at home in their leisure time to watch television or surf the net. As a result, their adolescents would copy their parents' behaviors at home, lessening attentiveness to extracurricular activities. Additionally, traditional sport games may require strong physical activities, which leads to a drop in interest and attraction to children, especially those with sedentary lifestyles.
From my perspective, excessive screen time over joining in sports leaves a detrimental impact on the young afterward, especially isolation and loneliness. The reason is that screen-based games cannot offer real-life communication like being in a sport team. In particular, just sitting in front of a screen all day lessens face-to-face interaction with other acquaintances, so the kids could be driven to hard social skills development and making new friends. Furthermore, excessive gaming and insufficient exercising may put children at a high risk of well-being. This is because when the young sit with a remaining posture and contact with the computer screen for a long time, they are easily prone to have vision and bond issues such as short-sightedness or back pain. As a consequence, this sedentary lifestyle can last into adulthood, driving children to potential drawbacks that can negatively affect their daily lives in the near future.
In conclusion, it is clear that easy access to technology and imitation of parents' behavior is to blame for youngsters preferring video games to sports, and I strongly opine that this phenomenon is a negative development.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15189 The last 2 sentences in the first paragraph do not meet the task accuracy requirements of the essay. Since that paragraph is the foundation of the full discussion, you are expected to represent quick and short responses to the given writing questions. You should have provided the 2 reasons you will be discussing and also, created a stand alone sentence for your personal point of view on the topic. These subjects should not have been mixed in a run on sentence format. The paraphrasing + writer's opinion is not going to receive a passing score due to the missing elements in its presentation.
The depression
I am not sure what depression has to do with the discussion. That is a totally separate and unrelated topic. Perhaps you could have mentioned being tired or exhausted instead. That would be more appropriate for the discussion. Additionally, the last topic you mentioned was not as developed as the other sections of the paragraph. That under developed presentation will lower the potential preliminary scoring consideration for that section. It will be best if you always use only 2 related topics. That way the paragraph will be seen as fully developed each time.
The concluding summary should follow the prescribed format of 2 sentences composed of at least 40 words. It should not be presented as a single run-on sentence. You still need to meet paragraphing requirements in that section.
Do You Need